Oh dear!--this is a very long morning. I feel such suspense--such anxiety; and poor Sergeant-major O'Callaghan is quite in a perspiration! He is drinking and smoking down in the kitchen to pass away the time, and if the lawyer don't come soon, the dear man will be quite fuddled. He talks of buying a farm in the country. Well, we shall see; but if the Sergeant thinks that he will make ducks and drakes of my money, he is mistaken. I have not been three times a widow for nothing--I will have it all settled upon myself; that must and shall be, or else--no Sergeant O'Callaghan for me! _Enter_ CLEMENTINA. So, here you are, Miss. We'll wait till the will is read, and then we shall see who is mistress here. CLEM. I am as anxious as you, Mrs Jellybags. You may have wheedled my poor uncle to make up the will in your favour; if so, depend upon it, I shall expect nothing from your hands. JEL. I should rather think not, Miss. If I recollect right, you threw the carminative mixture in my face. CLEM. And made you blush for the first time in your life. JEL. I shall not blush to slam the door in your face. CLEM. Rather than be indebted to you, I would beg my bread from door to door. JEL. I expect that you very soon will. _Enter_ EDWARD. EDW. My dearest Clementina, I have come to support you on this trying occasion. JEL. And ascertain how matters stand, before you decide upon marrying, I presume, Mr Edward. EDW. Madam, I am above all pecuniary considerations. JEL. So everybody says, when they think themselves sure of money. EDW. You judge of others by yourself. JEL. Perhaps I do--I certainly do expect to be rewarded for my long and faithful services. CLEM. Do not waste words upon her, my dear.--You have my solemn promise; nothing shall change my feeling towards you. JEL. That may be; but did it never occur to you, Miss, that the gentleman's feelings might alter? EDW. Detestable wretch! [_Hands_ CLEMENTINA _to a chair on the right, and sits by her. Enter Nephews_ JOHN, THOMAS, WILLIAM, _and_ JAMES, _all with white pocket-handkerchiefs in their hands--they take their seats two right and two left_.] JEL. (_aside_.) Here they all come, like crows that smell carrion. How odious is the selfishness of this world! But here is Mr Gumarabic. How do you do, Sir? (_Curtsies with a grave air_.) GUM. Very well, I thank you, Mrs Jellybags. Can't say the--same of all my patients. Just happened to pass by--thought I would step in and hear the will read--odd, that I should pop in at the time--very odd. Pray, may I ask, my dear Mrs Jellybags, were you present at the making of the will? JEL. No, my dear sir; my nerves would not permit me. GUM. Nerves!--odd, very odd! Then you don't know how things are settled? JEL. No more than the man in the moon, my dear sir. GUM. Man in the moon!--odd comparison that from a woman!--very odd! Hope my chance won't prove all moonshine.