The first attachment was a virtue: the second human nature; and the
third, in the opinion of old Cockle, a crime of serious magnitude. I
very often called upon Captain Cockle, for he had a quaint humour about
him which amused; and, as he seldom went out, he was always glad to see
any of his friends. Another reason was, that I seldom went to the house
without finding some entertainment in the continual sparring between the
master and the man. I was at that time employed in the Preventive
Service, and my station was about four miles from the residence of
Cockle. One morning I stalked in, and found him, as usual, in his
little parlour on the ground-floor.
"Well, Cockle, my boy, how are you?"
"Why, to tell you the truth, Bob, I'm all wrong. I'm on the stool of
repentance; to wit, on this easy chair, doing penance, as you perceive,
in a pair of duck trousers. Last night I was half-seas over, and
tolerably happy; this morning I am high and dry, and intolerably
miserable. Carried more sail than ballast last night, and lost my head;
this morning I've found it again, with a pig of ballast in it, I
believe. All owing to my good nature."
"How is that, Cockle?"
"Why, that Jack Piper was here last night; and rather than he should
drink all the grog and not find his way home, I drank some myself--he'd
been in a bad way if I had not, poor fellow!--and now, you see, I'm
suffering all from good nature. Easiness of disposition has been my
ruin, and has rounded me into this ball, by wearing away all my sharp
edges, Bob."
"It certainly was very considerate and very kind of you, Cockle,
especially when we know how much you must have acted at variance with
your inclinations."
"Yes, Bob, yes, I am the milk punch of human kindness. I often cry--
when the chimney smokes; and sometimes--when I laugh too much. You see,
I not only give my money, as others will do, but, as last night, I even
give my head to assist a fellow-creature. I could, however, dispense
with it for an hour or two this morning."
"Nay, don't say that; for although you might dispense with the upper
part, you could not well get on without your mouth, Cockle."
"Very true, Bob; a chap without a mouth would be like a ship without a
companion hatch;--talking about that, the combings of my mouth are
rather dry--what do you say, Bob, shall we call Moonshine?"
"Why it's rather broad daylight for Moonshine."
"He's but an eclipse--a total eclipse, I may say. The fact is, my head
is so heavy, that it rolls about on my shoulders; and I must have a
stiffener down my throat to prop it it up. So Moonshine, shine out, you
black-faced rascal!"
The negro was outside, cleaning his knives:--he answered, but continued
at his work.
"How me shine, Massa Cockle, when you neber gib me _shiner_?"
"No: but I'll give you a _shinner_ on your lower limb, that shall make
you feel planet-struck, if you don't show your ugly face," replied
Cockle.
"Massa Cockle, you full of dictionary dis marning."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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