In the presence of the loved one, we hardly retain _naturalness_ even in our movements, however deeply such habits are rooted in the muscles. When I gave my [Pg 117] arm to Léonore, I always felt on the point of stumbling, and I wondered if I was walking properly. The most one can do is never to be affected willingly: it is enough to be convinced that want of _naturalness_ is the greatest possible disadvantage, and can easily be the source of the greatest misfortunes. For the heart of the woman, whom you love, no longer understands your own; you lose that nervous involuntary movement of sincerity, which answers the call of sincerity. It means the loss of every way of touching, I almost said of winning her. Not that I pretend to deny, that a woman worthy of love may see her fate in that pretty image of the ivy, which "dies if it does not cling"--that is a law of Nature; but to make your lover's happiness is none the less a step that will decide your own. To me it seems that a reasonable woman ought not to give in completely to her lover, until she can hold out no longer, and the slightest doubt thrown on the sincerity of your heart gives her there and then a little strength--enough at least to delay her defeat still another day.[7] Is it necessary to add that to make all this the last word in absurdity you have only to apply it to gallant-love? [1] _Life of Haydn_(18). [2] 20 September, 1811. [3] At the first quarrel Madame Ivernetta gave poor Bariac his _congé_. Bariac was truly in love and this _congé_ threw him into despair; but his friend Guillaume Balaon, whose life we are writing, was of great help to him and managed, finally, to appease the severe Ivernetta. Peace was restored, and the reconciliation was accompanied by circumstances so delicious, that Bariac swore to Balaon that the hour of the first favours he had received from his mistress had not been as sweet as that of this voluptuous peacemaking. These words turned Balaon's head; he wanted to know this pleasure, of which his friend had just given him a description, etc. etc. (_Vie de quelques Troubadours_, by Nivernois, Vol. I, p. 32.) [4] It is this kind of timidity which is decisive, and which is proof of passion-love in a clever man. [5] Remember that, if the author uses sometimes the expression "I," it is an attempt to give the form of this essay a little variety. He does not in the least pretend to fill the readers' ears with the story of his own feelings. His aim is to impart, with as little monotony as possible, what he has observed in others. [6] Resides in exactly the same actions. [7] Haec autem ad acerbam rei memoriam, amara quadam dulcedine, scribere visum est--ut cogitem nihil esse debere quod amplius mihi placeat in hac vita. (_Petrarch_, Ed. Marsand.) [These things, to be a painful reminder, yet not without a certain bitter charm, I have seen good to write--to remind me that nothing any longer can give me pleasure in this life.--Tr. 15 January, 1819.