“Shall I write to your mother, now?” I asked, thinking that these
sudden tidings might change all plans and purposes; but they did
not; for the man received the order of the Divine Commander to
march, with the same unquestioning obedience with which the soldier
had received that of the human one, doubtless remembering that the
first led him to life, and the last to death.
“No, ma'am; to Laurie just the same; he'll break it to her best, and
I'll add a line to her myself when you get done.”
So I wrote the letter which he dictated, finding it better than any
I had sent; for, though here and there a little ungrammatical or
inelegant, each sentence came to me briefly worded, but most
expressive; full of excellent counsel to the boy, tenderly
“bequeathing mother and Lizzie” to his care, and bidding him good-by
in words the sadder for their simplicity. He added a few lines with
steady hand, and, as I sealed it, said, with a patient sort of sigh,
“I hope the answer will come in time for me to see it;” then,
turning away his face, laid the flowers against his lips, as if to
hide some quiver of emotion at the thought of such a sudden
sundering of all the dear home-ties.
These things had happened two days before; now John was dying, and
the letter had not come. I had been summoned to many death-beds in
my life, but to none that made my heart ache as it did then, since
my mother called me to watch the departure of a spirit akin to this
in its gentleness and patient strength. As I went in, John stretched
out both hands,--
“I knew you'd come! I guess I'm moving on, ma'am.”
He was; and so rapidly that, even while he spoke, over his face I
saw the gray veil falling that no human hand can lift. I sat down by
him, wiped the drops from his forehead, stirred the air about him
with the slow wave of a fan, and waited to help him die. He stood in
sore need of help,--and I could do so little; for, as the doctor had
foretold, the strong body rebelled against death, and fought every
inch of the way, forcing him to draw each breath with a spasm, and
clench his hands with an imploring look, as if he asked, “How long
must I endure this, and be still?” For hours he suffered dumbly,
without a moment's respite, or a moment's murmuring; his limbs grew
cold, his face damp, his lips white, and, again and again, he tore
the covering off his breast, as if the lightest weight added to his
agony; yet through it all, his eyes never lost their perfect
serenity, and the man's soul seemed to sit therein, undaunted by the
ills that vexed his flesh.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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