‘“What principle?” asked Shubin. Kurnatovsky
seemed annoyed or surprised, and said, “That needs no explanation.”
‘Papa, who seems to worship him, put in “of course not”; and to my
vexation the conversation stopped there. In the evening Bersenyev came
and got into a terrific argument with him. I have never seen our good
Andrei Petrovitch so excited. Mr. Kurnatovsky did not at all deny the
utility of science, universities, and so on, but still I understood
Andrei Petrovitch’s indignation. The man looks at it all as a sort of
gymnastics. Shubin came up to me after dinner, and said, “This fellow
here and some one else (he can never bring himself to utter your name)
are both practical men, but see what a difference; there’s the real
living ideal given to life; and here there’s not even a feeling of duty,
simply official honesty and activity without anything inside it.” Shubin
is clever, and I remembered his words to tell you; but to my mind there
is nothing in common between you. You _have faith_, and he has not; for
a man cannot _have faith_ in himself only.
‘He did not go away till late; but mamma had time to inform me that he
was pleased with me, and papa is in ecstasies. Did he say, I wonder,
that I was a woman of principle? I was almost telling mamma that I was
very sorry, but I had a husband already. Why is it papa dislikes you so?
Mamma, we could soon manage to bring round.
‘Oh, my dear one! I have described this gentleman in such detail to
deaden my heartache. I don’t live without you; I am constantly seeing
you, hearing you. I look forward to seeing you--only not at our house,
as you intended--fancy how wretched and ill at ease we should be!--but
you know where I wrote to you--in that wood. Oh, my dear one! How I love
you!’
XXIII
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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