Forgiveness -- Fiction; Guilt -- Fiction; Love -- Fiction
"I can't go to court, as you well know; and I give you credit for
enough strength to take yourself away from there. I was watching you
to-day while you lay asleep. There's nothing false in you; as yet, no
evil passions cloud your brow. I know your brother is anxious to have
you marry, and I, too, wish that you may become a good wife and mother.
But I fear that you have become too much your own, ever to become
another's. Be that as it may, my child, look at the scene spread out
before you. Myriads of flowers are blooming silent and unknown. Should
a wanderer pass by and feast his eyes upon them, or even pluck a
flower, it has lived for him. Should it blossom and fade away unseen,
it has lived for itself. But, my child, don't go out of your way to
please me. How long is your leave?"
"A fortnight."
"Let us spend the time in truth and cheerfulness, and then act as your
judgment dictates."
CHAPTER X.
The days passed by quickly. Eberhard had little to do with his
neighbors, but was always glad to see the burgomaster of the village,
who was, also, a deputy to the Diet, and to consult with him regarding
the affairs of the community.
Irma spent much of her time alone. She read, embroidered, painted and
sang. After the first few days, a reaction set in.
"What is this life?" she asked herself, "of what use? I work for
dress--dress for my soul and for my body. And to what purpose? The
mirror sees me, the walls hear me, and I have my father for one hour at
noon and another in the evening."
She endeavored to control her flights, and, although she succeeded in
that, could not prevent herself from thinking of one who was distant.
She would look around as if she could hear his footsteps and as if the
air were filled with his presence; and that man was--the king.
She could not but think that he expected a letter from her, and what
had he received? The news of her departure. Why should she insult and
mortify him?
While at Wildenort, she was several times on the point of writing to
him. She wanted to tell him that she had meant to flee from him; nay,
from herself. Framing the sentences in her mind, she would say to
herself: Flight is not cowardice. Indeed, it requires great strength
thus to tear one's self away. She meant to make this clear to him. She
did not wish him to think ill of humanity and, least of all, of her.
His great and extended energy should not be weakened, or even
disturbed, by the consciousness that mankind had no conception of the
truly noble. She owed it, both to him and to herself, to explain this;
but it is difficult to do it all in writing. She would, therefore,
return and tell him all, and, after that, they would, although distant,
be united in the noblest thoughts. She felt satisfied that she would
find full compensation for a lonely life in the recollection of one
moment of perfect communion with a noble mind, and the consciousness of
truth and purity in thought and deed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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