Forgiveness -- Fiction; Guilt -- Fiction; Love -- Fiction
my offer of a discharge. He became a professor and I attended lectures.
But I was painfully conscious of my deficiency in knowledge and
ardently longed for a chance to devote my life to perfecting my
education. An unforeseen event helped to bring about the desired end. I
had become gentleman of the bedchamber and spent much of my time at
court. At that early day, I observed the ineradicable, servile spirit
that dwells in man. Every one rejoices that there are others lower down
in the scale than himself, and is willing, on that account, to suffer
some to stand above him. Princes are not to blame for this ladder of
nonsense. One day while at the summer palace, the king had gone out
hunting, and although it was long past the dinner hour, not a glimpse
of him was to be seen. The chamberlains and the court ladies--I forget
their titles--were walking in the park. They would sit down on the
benches, look through their spy-glasses, and endeavor, unsuccessfully
however, to keep up a sustained conversation; for the ladies and
gentlemen, both young and old, were possessed of vulgar hunger. And
still the herdsman who was to put fodder in the rack for them, did not
make his appearance. Your uncle Willibald pacified his gnawing hunger
with little biscuits, which did not destroy his appetite. Hours passed,
while they walked about like Jews on the Day of Atonement. But they
laughed and joked--at least they tried to--while their stomachs
growled. And though your uncle had thirty horses in his stable at home,
with oxen and cows and many broad acres besides, he was content to
serve and wait there, because he took great pride in being lord
chamberlain. At that time, my child, I was as old as you are now, and I
swore to myself never more to be a servant to any man. At last, the
king's hunting carriage arrived. All were profuse in their greetings
and received him with smiling faces. And yet his majesty was in a bad
humor, for while he had been unsuccessful, General Kont, who had been
one of the hunting party, had committed the impropriety of shooting a
deer with twelve antlers. The general felt very unhappy at his good
luck, and his head hung as mournfully as that of the dead beast. He
apologized again and expressed his regrets that his majesty had not
killed the stag. With rueful countenance, the monarch congratulated
him. The king looked at me and asked 'How are you?'
"'Very hungry. Your Majesty,' was my answer. The king smiled, but the
rest of the court were horror-struck at my impertinence.
"We were obliged to wait another half-hour, while the king changed his
dress and, at last, we went to dinner.
"My child, if you were to tell the story to a courtier, he would
consider me intolerably stupid; but that meal was the last I ever ate
at princely table.
"I know that I'm talkative--I'm an old man. I merely wanted to say:
Look about you and see how many human sacrifices they are constantly
requiring.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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