Forgiveness -- Fiction; Guilt -- Fiction; Love -- Fiction
The grandmother felt like saying: "If you let yourself go to ruin,
you'll surely harm the child--" but checked herself. When a man is
getting back into the right road, it isn't well to keep preaching at
him. Let him go on quietly in his own way, or else he will lose all
pleasure in it.--Thus thought the grandmother to herself, and, although
she had already opened her lips to speak, she swallowed her words.
Hansei looked about him, with an unsteady glance, and said:
"Mother-in-law, you were going to say something else."
"There's no need of saying everything. But yes!--you lower yourself
when you let Zenza bring messages to you. I noticed the woodcutter
making a queer face when he saw that Zenza was allowed to enter our
house. Don't go to the Windenreuthe; the place has a bad name, and it
does no one credit to go there. If you do want to go hunting, and have
bought yourself a gun, you can give a boy a penny to go there and get
it for you."
"Yes, indeed," thought Hansei, smiling, "grandmother's right; but one
needn't tell all one's thoughts."
"I'm going into the forest now. I want to be about when they load up my
wood."
He took his hat and mountain-staff, donned his hunter's pouch and
provided himself with a piece of bread. The grandmother, carrying the
child on her arm, accompanied him as far as the cherry-tree, from which
the withered leaves were already beginning to fall.
Hansei went into the forest; but, as soon as he was out of sight, he
turned about and took the road that led to Windenreuthe.
He felt quite strangely while on his way. He had never before known
that he breathed so hard and was so easily frightened. He was terrified
by every sound, by the nutpecker flying from the tree, the chattering
magpie, the hooting hawk-owl on the rocky ridge, and the bellowing cow
in the meadow.
"I oughtn't to go, and I won't go," he exclaimed, bringing his staff
down with such force that the pointed ferrule struck sparks from the
stones in the road, and yet he went on.
Fortunately, a mist was ascending the mountain, but he walked on,
farther and farther, through the clouds.
Windenreuthe consists of a few poor-looking, scattered houses. Hansei
stopped in front of the first house, as if riveted to the spot. He was
seized with fright as sudden as if a bullet had struck him, and yet
what had alarmed him was nothing, after all. He had merely heard a
child crying in the house before which he stood. "Your child cries just
like this one," said an inner voice. "How will you be, when you see it
and hear it and kiss it again? How will you be, when you pass this
house on your way back.... How will you be, in the spring, when your
wife returns and you walk with her and meet Black Esther? And at every
merry-making, either at home or at the inn, Black Esther will come and
say: 'Make room for me; I belong here too.'"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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