Forgiveness -- Fiction; Guilt -- Fiction; Love -- Fiction
"Yes," said Irma, "I was with my friend at Frauenwörth, where she
desires to live, or rather to die; for life there is a daily waiting
for death. It seems terrible to me, too, to think of making what may
perhaps be only a passing mood, the irrevocable law of one's life, or a
fate from which there can be no escape. And yet many other holy
institutions are just the same. I can now see what an exalted and
difficult vocation it is to be a king. I frankly confess that if I were
now called upon to decide this matter, or to suggest a law upon the
subject, I could not arrive at a decision. Now, more than ever before,
do I realize that we women were not born to rule."
Irma's voice, although usually so clear and firm, was now veiled and
trembling. She was standing on a pinnacle where she could find no firm
footing; she looked up to the king, as if to a higher being; his
bearing was so firm, his eye so clear. She would gladly have fallen on
her knees at his feet.
"Come nearer, Count Wildenort," exclaimed the king.
Irma started. Was her father there? She was so excited that everything
seemed possible.
She had, at the moment, quite forgotten that her brother Bruno was the
king's aid-de-camp. He had been standing a little distance off, and now
approached, in order to take his leave of the queen, as he was about to
go away for some time.
The king and queen left; after which, Irma and her brother walked away.
The king's behavior seemed a riddle; but for this he had his own
reasons, the first and greatest of which was invincible distrust of
others. "Distrust all," was the great precept which had been instilled
into him from earliest youth. "One can never know what selfish purposes
may lurk behind the noblest exterior." This maxim was in accord with
one trait of the king's character. He desired to be strong in himself,
to allow no one to guide his judgment; and that is the great secret of
the heroic nature. It was this which, with all his love of freedom, had
made constitutionalism repugnant to him; for the constitution destroyed
great and powerful personal influence, and required that he be simply
the vehicle of the spirit of the age, or the exponent of public
opinion. This was opposed to his own strong self-consciousness. He
distrusted every one who attempted to press him for an opinion or a
decision. He even distrusted Irma. Perhaps she did not know that she
was the instrument of a party; but she was, nevertheless. They had
found out that he held her in great esteem, and were now availing
themselves of Emma's entering the convent, to force him to a decision.
He would not submit to this. Irma should be made to know that he would
not allow another, even though it were his lovely friend, to lead him.
The olden time could never again return. They would find him a new
being; he would not permit female interference in state affairs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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