Forgiveness -- Fiction; Guilt -- Fiction; Love -- Fiction
He sincerely loved his wife, but he was of an heroic, active
temperament, and all that savored of pettiness, self-questioning or
sentimentality, was utterly distasteful to him. His great ambition was
to promote the happiness of his subjects, and to achieve for himself a
place in history. But a period of peaceful development, in which all
were friendly to the government and anxious to serve it, afforded no
opportunity for heroic deeds, or for new and startling measures. All
that could be done was to hold fast to what had already been achieved
and, at the same time, to encourage new growths. But such labors absorb
the work of many whose names remain unknown to fame, and it was this
that explained the king's fondness for building. The construction of
great edifices devoted to art, science, the church and the army, could
not but be regarded as proofs of a mind anxious to achieve great deeds.
The king loved his wife, and was content to have it so. The queen, on
the other hand, was ever anxious to furnish new proofs of her love, and
her deep sensibility was again displayed in this attempt to carry out a
resolve which, although prompted by the best motives, was utterly
impracticable. She idealized everything, and, in that respect, the
king's temperament was the very opposite of hers. Her apartments were
always so dimly lighted that, when he entered them, he was obliged to
grope his way. On emerging from this gloom, it seemed to him as if the
morn had dawned anew, for he dearly loved the bright light of day. This
continual worrying about religious problems that none can solve--this
constant mental excitement, incapacitates one for prompt action. He who
desires to have his life-fabric rest on a firm foundation, must be free
from over-refined self-criticism. He must subordinate all his feelings,
all his passions, to the one aim, and to no one does this so forcibly
apply as to the monarch who desires to direct the diversified and
all-embracing interests of his subjects.
The queen's aim was to realize, in her own person, her ideal of the
wife and the mother; but then she had no right to forget that she was a
queen. Something more was required than eternal trifling and weaving of
garlands, ingeniously devised as they might be. Love, such as hers, is
exacting withal, for, while it lavishes endearments, it constantly
requires a return in kind. It is exclusive and, at the same time,
wearisome. The sun shines and love exists, but why constantly worry
about either.
The lonely life the queen had been leading had produced an excited
condition that sought vent in the attempt to change her faith, and,
although the king had determined that it should be nothing more than an
attempt, her words had tended to confirm a corresponding feeling of
loneliness on his part--a result to which his recent experience had in
no slight degree contributed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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