On the Stage--and Off: The Brief Career of a Would-Be ActorJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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On the Stage--and Off: The Brief Career of a Would-Be Actor
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Actors -- Great Britain -- Biography; Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927
Previous to leaving London, I got together a small wardrobe. I already
had a stock of boots and shoes, and tights, but these were only a
few of the things required, and I found it rather an expensive matter
before I had done. Varying in price from seven shillings to two
pounds, wigs cost the most of anything, and I had to buy seven
or eight of these--a “white Court,” a “brown George,” a “flowing
ringlets,” a “scratch” (why called scratch I haven’t the faintest
notion), a “comic oldman,” a “bald,” and a “flow” for everything that
one was not quite sure about.
I picked up a good many odds and ends of costume in Petticoat Lane one
Sunday morning. It is a famous place for theatrical wardrobes. I got
a complete sailor’s suit for five shillings, and a suit of livery for
sixteen. Old-fashioned swallowtails and embroidered waistcoats, knee
breeches, blouses, pants, hats, cloaks, and swords were also to be had
there in plenty, and at very small cost. My sisters made me some more
things (they had become reconciled to my “mad trick” by this time,
and had even got to rather like the idea of having an actor in the
family), and for the rest I had to go to a regular costumier’s. All
these articles, together with a pretty complete modern wardrobe,
a bundle of acting editions and other books, a “make-up” box, a
dressing-case, writing-case, etc., etc., made a pretty big pile, and,
as this pile would be increased rather than diminished as time went
on, I determined to get one big traveling basket to hold everything,
and have done with it.
I did get a big one. I’ve got it now. It’s downstairs in the
washhouse. I’ve never been able to get rid of it from that day to
this. I’ve tried leaving it behind when removing into new lodgings,
but it has always been sent on after me, generally in a wagon with
a couple of men, who, evidently imagining they were restoring me a
treasured heirloom, have been disappointed at my complete absence of
enthusiasm. I have lured stray boys into the house, and offered
them half a crown to take it away and lose it, but they have become
frightened, and gone home and told their mothers, and, after that, it
has got about in the neighborhood that I have committed a murder. It
isn’t the sort of thing you can take out with you on a dark night, and
drop down somebody else’s area.
When I used it, I had to do all my packing in the hall, for it was
impossible to get the thing up and down stairs. It always stood just
behind the front door, which left about six inches of space for people
to squeeze past, and every one that came in got more or less injured.
The owner of the house, returning home late at night, would pitch
head foremost over it, and begin yelling murder and police, under the
impression it was burglars. The girl, coming in with the beer, would
bang up against it, and upset the jug over it, when the whole contents
would become saturated, and smell like a public-house.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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