On the Stage--and Off: The Brief Career of a Would-Be ActorJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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On the Stage--and Off: The Brief Career of a Would-Be Actor
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Actors -- Great Britain -- Biography; Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927
“Sergeant Parry was in the stalls the other night, and a big London
actor, whose name I forget just now. We (I say ‘we’ because we all
help in everything--two of us went out early a morning or two ago
bill-posting: we’ve got a regular billposter, but it’s his week for
being drunk)--we, then, had a good deal of trouble training the supers
and ballet. You should hear the supers dance: you can do so easily a
mile off. They shake the whole building. Both they and the ballet are
drawn from the fishing population of the town, and this is their first
appearance on any stage. The ballet consists of eight at present,
but that is only for the first go off, we shall reduce it to six in a
little while. We have also got about a dozen children to do a May-pole
dance. It’s a treat to see them. They are paid threepence a night, but
they get three shillings’ worth of enjoyment out of it for themselves.
There is one little girl with the face of an angel--I honestly confess
I’ve never seen an angel’s face, and don’t suppose I ever shall till
I die, but I think it is that sort of face. She is dressed by seven
every evening, and, from then, till she goes on the stage at ten, she
is dancing and singing on her own account all over the place. When the
May-pole is at last set up, she stands and gazes at it open-mouthed,
and laughs to herself with glee. In her excitement, she always dances
round the wrong way, and with the wrong boy--but it’s always the same
wrong boy, that is what makes it extraordinary. Happy wrong boy,
only he doesn’t know he’s happy; he is so small. After the dance, the
little boys kiss the little girls. You ought to see this little fairy
turn aside and giggle, and push her little lover away. The boys are
awfully shy over the business, but the little girls don’t seem a bit
afraid. Such is the superiority of woman over man?
“The pantomime dresses all come from London, and are quite handsome
and costly. The piece is _Whittington and his Cat_, written by the
stage manager here, but it is nearly all songs and dances, and what
little is spoken is more gag than book. I’ve two songs in one of my
parts, and one in the other. I suppose singing is easy enough when you
are used to it. It is the orchestra that puts me out, though. I should
feel much freer without the music. We give them plenty of topical
allusions on burning local questions, being careful, of course, to
follow Mr. Pickwick’s advice, and ‘shout with the crowd.’ It fetches
them immensely. The enthusiasm created nightly by a reference to the
new lamp-post in the High Street is tremendous.
“Our low comedian is teaching me dancing, and I practice for about an
hour a day. It’s terribly hard work, but I can nearly do a hornpipe
already. I want to do that: there is nothing knocks a country audience
like a hornpipe.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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