Humorous stories; Love stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
"I'm supposed to be here just as a special messenger," says I; "but, on
the level, I was sent up here to sleuth for brutal acts. Uh-huh!
That's what the folks at home think, from the letters she's been
writin'. Mr. Robert was dead sure of it. But I see now they had the
wrong dope. I guess I've got the idea. What you're up against is
simply a spoiled kid proposition, and if you don't mind my mixin' in
I'd like to state what I think I'd do if it was me."
"Well, what?" says he.
"I'd whittle a handle on a good thick shingle," says I, "and use it."
He stiffens a little at that first off, and then looks at me curious.
Next he chuckles. "By Jove, though!" says he after awhile.
Yes, we had a long talk, chummy and confidential, and before we turns
in Nick has plotted out a substitute for the shingle programme that he
promises to try on first thing next morning I didn't expect to be in on
it; but we happens to be sittin' on the veranda waitin' for breakfast,
when out comes Robbie in a pink mornin' gown with a cute boudoir cap on
her head.
"Why haven't they sent up my coffee and rolls?" she demands.
"Did you order them, Robbie?" says Nick.
"Why no," says she. "Didn't you?"
"No," says Nick. "I'm not going to, either. You're mistress of the
house, you know, Robbie, and from now on you are in full charge."
"But--but I thought Mrs. Parkins, the housekeeper, was to manage all
those things," says she.
"You said yesterday you couldn't bear Mrs. Parkins," says Nick; "so I'm
sending her back to town. She's packing her things now. There are
four servants left, though, which is enough. But they need
straightening out. They are squabbling over their work, and neglecting
it. You will have to settle all that."
"But--but, Nick," protests Robbie, "I'm sure I know nothing at all
about it."
"As my wife you are supposed to," says Nick. "You must learn. Anyway,
I've told them they needn't do another stroke until they get orders
from you. And I wish you'd begin. I'd rather like breakfast."
He's real calm and pleasant about it; but there's somethin' solid about
the way his jaw is set. Robbie eyes him a minute hesitatin' and
doubtful, like a schoolgirl that's bein' scolded. Then all of a sudden
there's a change. The pout comes off her lips, her chin stops
trembling and she squares her shoulders.
"I'm--I'm sorry, Nicholas," says she. "I--I'll do my best." And off
she marches to the kitchen.
And, say, half an hour later we were all sittin' down to as good a ham
omelet as I ever tasted. When I left with Nick to catch the forenoon
express, young Mrs. Talbot was chewin' the end of a lead pencil, with
them pansy eyes of hers glued on a pad where she was dopin' out her
first dinner order. She would break away from it only long enough to
give Hubby a little bird peck on the cheek; but he seems tickled to
death with that.
So it wa'n't any long report I has to hand in to Mr. Robert that night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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