Humorous stories; Love stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
"Why, Cap!" says I. "What have I ever done to you? Now, honest, do I
look like I--but I'll forgive you this time. New York, Cap: not
Brooklyn, or Staten Island or the Bronx, you know, but straight New
York, West 17th-st. And I've come all this way just to see Mr.
Higgins."
"Gosh!" says he. "Ira always did have all the luck."
Next crack he calls me Sorrel Top, and inside of five minutes we was
joshin' away chummy, me up on a tall stool alongside, and him pointin'
out all the sights. And, believe me, the State of Maine's got some
scenery scattered along the wet edge of it! Honest, it's nothin' but
scenery,--rocks and trees and water, and water and trees and rocks, and
then a few more rocks.
"How about when you hit one of them sharp ones?" says I.
"Government files a new edge on it," says he. "They keep a gang that
does nothin' else."
"Think of that!" says I. "I don't see any lobsters floatin' around,
though."
"Too late in the day," says he. "'Fraid of gittin' sunburned. You
want to watch for 'em about daybreak. Millions then. Travel in
flocks."
"Ye-e-es?" says I. "All hangin' onto a string, I expect. But why the
painted posts stickin' up out of the water?"
"Hitchin' posts," says he, "for sea hosses."
Oh, I got a bunch of valuable marine information from him, and when the
second mate came up he added a lot more. If I hadn't thought to tell
'em how there was always snow on the Singer and Woolworth towers, and
how the East Side gunmen was on strike to raise the homicide price to
three dollars and seventy-five cents, they'd had me well Sweeneyed. As
it was, I guess we split about even.
Him findin' Boothbay Harbor among all that snarl of islands and
channels wasn't any bluff, though. That was the real sleight of hand.
As we're comin' up to the dock he points out Ira's boatworks, just on
the edge of the town. Half an hour later I've left my baggage at the
hotel and am interviewin' Mr. Higgins.
He's the same old Ira; only he's wearin' blue overalls and a boiled
shirt with the sleeves rolled up.
"Roarin' Rocks, eh?" says he. "Why, that's the Hollister place on
Cunner Point, about three miles up."
"Can I get a trolley?" says I.
"Trolley!" says he. "Why, Son, there ain't any 'lectric cars nearer'n
Bath."
"Gee, what a jay burg!" says I. "How about a ferry, then?"
Ira shakes his head. Seems Roarin' Rocks is a private joint, the
summer place of this Mr. Hollister who's described by Ira as "richer'n
Croesus"--whatever that might mean. Anyway, they're exclusive parties
that don't encourage callers; for the only way of gettin' there is over
a private road around the head of the bay, or by hirin' a launch to
take you up.
"Generally," says Ira, "they send one of their boats down to meet
company. Now, if they was expectin' you----"
"That's just it," I breaks in, "they ain't. Fact is, Ira, there's a
young lady visitin' there with her aunt, and--and--well, Aunty and me
ain't so chummy as we might be."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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