English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
It was in October, 19-- that the word "Zinc" first began to be heard in
financial circles. City men, pushing their dominoes regretfully away,
and murmuring "Zinc" in apologetic tones, were back in their offices by
three o'clock, forgetting in their haste to leave the usual twopence
under the cup for the waitress. Clubmen, glancing at the tape on their
way to the smoking-room, said to their neighbours, "Zinc's moved a
point, I see," before covering themselves up with _The Times_. In the
trains, returning husbands asked each other loudly, "What's all this
about zinc?"--all save the very innocent ones, who whispered, "I say,
what _is_ zinc exactly?" The music-halls took it up. No sooner had the
word "Zinc" left the lips of an acknowledged comedian than the house was
in roars of laughter. The _furore_ at the Collodium when Octavius Octo,
in his world-famous part of the landlady of a boarding-house, remarked,
"I know why my ole man's so late. 'E's buying zinc," is still remembered
in the bars round Piccadilly.
. . . . .
To explain it properly it will be necessary (my readers will be alarmed
to hear) to go back some thirty years. This, as a simple calculation
shows, takes us to June, 18--. It was in June, 18-- that Felix Moses, a
stout young man of attractive appearance (if you care for that style),
took his courage in both hands, and told Phyllida Sloan that he was
worth ten thousand a year and was changing his name to Mountenay. Miss
Sloan, seeing that it was the beginning of a proposal, said hastily
that she was changing hers to Abraham.
"You're marrying Leo Abraham?" asked Felix in amazement. "Ah!" A gust of
jealousy swept over him. He licked his lips. There was a dangerous look
in his eyes--a look that was destined in after days to make Emperors and
rival financiers quail. "Ah!" he said softly. "Leo Abraham! I shall not
forget!"
. . . . .
And now it will be necessary (my readers will be relieved to learn) to
jump forward some thirty years. This obviously takes us to September
19--. Let us on this fine September morning take a peep into "No. --
Throgneedle Street, E.C.," and see how the business of the mother city
is carried on.
On the fourth floor we come to the sanctum of the great man himself.
"Mr. Felix Mountenay--No admittance," is painted upon the outer door. It
is a name which is known and feared all over Europe. Mr. Mountenay's
private detective stands on one side of the door; on the other side is
Mr. Mountenay's private wolf-hound. Murmuring the word "Press," however,
we pass hastily through, and find ourselves before Mr. Mountenay
himself. Mr. Mountenay is at work; let us watch him through a typical
five minutes.
For a moment he stands meditating in the middle of the room. Kings are
tottering on their thrones. Empires hang upon his nod. What will he
decide? Suddenly he blows a cloud of smoke from his cigar, and rushes to
the telephone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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