English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"Well, you begin by writing down five or six letters, one underneath the
other. We might each suggest one. 'E.'"
We weighed in with ours, and the result was E P A D U.
"Now you write them backwards."
There was a moment's consternation.
"Like 'bath-mat'?" said Dennis. "An 'e' backwards looks so silly."
"Stupid--like this," explained Norah. She showed us her paper.
E U
P D
A A
D P
U E
"This is thrilling," said Mrs. Gerald, pencilling hard.
"Then everybody has to fill in words all the way down, your first word
beginning with 'e' and ending with 'u,' and so on. See?"
Gerald leant over Dennis and explained carefully to him, and in a little
while we all saw.
"Then, when everybody's finished, we define our words in turn, and the
person who guesses a word first gets a mark. That's all."
"And a very good game too," I said, and I rubbed my head and began to
think.
"Of course," said Norah, after a quarter of an hour's silence, "you want
to make the words difficult and define them as subtly as possible."
"Of course," I said, wrestling with 'E--U.' I could only think of one
word, and it was the one everybody else was certain to have.
"Are we all ready? Then somebody begin."
"You'd better begin, Norah, as you know the game," said Mrs. Gerald.
We prepared to begin.
"Mine," said Norah, "is a bird."
"Emu," we all shouted; but I swear I was first.
"Yes."
"I don't think that's a very subtle definition," said Dennis. "You
promised to be as subtle as possible."
"Go on, dear," said Gerald to his wife.
"Well, this is rather awkward. Mine is----"
"Emu," I suggested.
"You must wait till she has defined it," said Norah sternly.
"Mine is a sort of feathered animal."
"Emu," I said again. In fact, we all said it.
Gerald coughed. "Mine," he said, "isn't exactly a--fish, because it----"
"Emu," said everybody.
"That was subtler," said Dennis, "but it didn't deceive us."
"Your turn," said Norah to me. And they all leant forward ready to say
"Emu."
"Mine," I said, "is--all right, Dennis, you needn't look so excited--is
a word I once heard a man say at the Zoo."
There was a shriek of "Emu!"
"Wrong," I said.
Everybody was silent.
"Where did he say it?" asked Norah at last. "What was he doing?"
"He was standing outside the Emu's cage."
"It must have been Emu."
"It wasn't."
"Perhaps there's another animal beginning with 'e' and ending with 'u,'"
suggested Dennis. "He might have said,'Look here, I'm tired of this old
Emu, let's go and see the E-doesn't-mu,' or whatever it's called."
"We shall have to give it up," said Norah at last. "What is it?"
"Ebu," I announced. "My man had a bad cold, and he said, 'Look, Baria,
there's ad Ebu.' Er--what do I get for that?"
"Nothing," said Norah coldly. "It isn't fair. Now, Mr. Dennis."
"Mine is _not_ Emu, and it couldn't be mistaken for Emu; not even if you
had a sore throat and a sprained ankle. And it has nothing to do with
the Zoo, and----"
"Well, what is it?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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