She was soon after left to herself, and leaving the matting divan upon
which she had been seated, she paced the room, frantically trying door
and windows in turn, but only to find all fast. Again and again she
found her follies recurring to her mind, and she blamed herself bitterly
for her coquetry, and the thoughtless love of admiration which had
tempted her to attract the Rajah's notice.
So terribly agitating were her thoughts now, that in her excitement her
hands shook, her legs trembled beneath her weight, and her busy
imagination coursed on so swiftly that she saw herself the injured,
helpless wife of the insulted Malay, the occupant of a zenana, and the
slave of the man whom she had maddened by her weakness and folly.
It was terrible; and so black did the future outlook become to her
excited imagination, that the only gleam of hope through the darkness
was represented by a shuddering belief that it would be better now to
die.
Carried off as she had been, unknown to any but the Rajah's followers,
and now hidden away in this place, that seemed to be far in the depths
of the jungle, there seemed no chance of her whereabouts being
discovered; while were it known to any European who should see her, upon
what would he gaze but one who was in his eyes an ordinary Malay woman!
This, then, was the goal to which her ambition had carried her. It was
for this that she had laughed at the protestations of her many admirers,
the humblest of whom she would gladly have accepted now sooner than
become the wife, or rather slave, of this petty, half-savage Rajah.
"Poor Hilton!" she thought sadly to herself, as she stood by the window,
gazing out at the great green leaves of the jungle. Would he suffer
much at her loss? or, feeling too indignant on account of her late
treatment, be too angry to care?
Then she began thinking of Chumbley, and wished that he, with his strong
arm, were by her side to protect her in this hour of need; and it was a
bitter humiliation to her to feel that this man, towards whom she had
always felt a kind of good-humoured contempt, should be one to whom she
was ready to cling in the time of adversity.
Then the calm, pensive features of Arthur Rosebury seemed to rise before
her like an upbraiding spectre, and she, for the first time, seemed to
see her cruelty in trifling with the best feelings of a man who was
gentle, tender, and true of heart as a woman; she knew now how she must
have wounded him, and yet he had borne it all in a patient,
uncomplaining way, bearing with her follies, displaying no jealousy, but
condoning everything, and seeming only too happy if she paid him with a
smile.
There was something very nearly akin to pity and regret in her thoughts
at this time; and like some punished child, there came to her mind weak,
repentant vows of amendment and simple promises never to do so again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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