Poor Maude Hillary’s lessons in the mysteries of every-day life had only
just begun; she had yet to learn that there are other disappointments
than those which wait upon true love, other pains and sorrows than those
which have their root in the heart; and that there are such things as
marrying and giving in marriage for the love of thirty thousand a year.
She spent a weary day in the pleasant drawing-room, where the red glow
of a great fire illuminated as much prettiness in the way of china, and
Parian, and bronze, and ormolu, and enamel, as would have stocked a
_bric-à-brac_ shop in Wardour Street. She spent a tiresome day, that
seemed interminably long, lying on a low sofa near the fire, thinking of
her father’s troubles and Julia’s desertion. She thought also of that
cruel scene, in which she had seemed to play so contemptible a part.
What bitter humiliation it was to look back upon, now that the mad
impulse of the moment, the desperate courage that had made her snatch at
_any_ chance of help for her father, had altogether passed away! How
mean and pitiful the whole business seemed now to her calmer judgment,
looked upon in the cold light of common, sense! A borrower, a beggar
almost, a miserable suppliant to her friend’s affianced husband. What
wonder that Francis Tredethlyn had basely taken advantage of that false
position, to avow a passion whose least expression was an insult to her
on the lips of Julia Desmond’s lover? And then what wasted humiliation,
what unnecessary shame; for had not she turned upon him and upbraided
him in the next moment, forgetful of her father’s desperate need!
Such thoughts as these were scarcely pleasant company all through that
brief January day, which seemed so long to Maude Hillary. The slow hours
crept on, and she still lay tossing restlessly on the sofa, which
offered all that upholstery can offer for the consolation of a troubled
mind. A servant brought lamps, and crept from window to window, drawing
the curtains as stealthily as a burglar would have cut a square out of
the iron door of Mr. Hillary’s plate-room. The first dinner-bell rang
out in the old-fashioned cupola upon the roof, and informed all
Twickenham that it was time for the people at the Cedars to array
themselves for the evening meal: but Maude still lay upon the sofa,
hiding her flushed face in the pillows, and trying to quiet the
throbbing in her burning head. What did it matter? The poor
inexperienced girl broke down all at once in her social comedy. She
could act the wearisome play no longer; she wanted to give up all her
share in this world, and to go to bed and lie there quietly until she
died. All the common business of life seemed unutterably loathsome to
her,--the dressing and dining, the simpering small-talk, the finery of a
grand house no longer honestly maintained. Oh, that it could all be
swept away like the vision engendered out of some troubled slumber;
giving place to a suburban cottage and a life of decent toil!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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