He saw Maude’s look of unutterable scorn; a look which revealed her to
him in a new and higher light, and inspired him with a more passionate
love than he had ever felt for her yet--and at his worst he had loved
her.
“Maude,” he cried, in a sudden access of mingled rage and despair, “why
do you goad me to say these things? I know how detestable I seem to you.
And yet, as there is a heaven above me, I have loved you truly from
first to last. Pity me if, while I prayed for no better fate than to
face the enemy’s guns on an Indian battle-field, I was a coward in
social life and dared not brave genteel poverty even for your sake. Pity
me if I shrank from thrusting myself between you and a wealthy marriage.
I had been poor all my life; and I knew what you have never learnt--the
horrors of a gentleman’s poverty. I have smiled at your girlish talk of
pretty cottages and tiny suburban gardens; an elegant little
drawing-room, in which you and I might spend the winter evenings
together with our books and music. The poor gentleman’s cottage is never
pretty; the poor gentleman’s drawing-room is never elegant. His wife’s
tastes may be ever so simple, his own aspirations may be ever so pure;
but poverty countenances no taste, permits no aspiration. His wife is
fond of music, perhaps. Heaven help her! she cannot be sure of an hour
in which her piano may not be seized by the broker. She delights in
flowers; but the nosegays she arranges so gaily to-day may entail a writ
for the florist’s account to-morrow. You would have thought me a model
of all that is noble and disinterested if I had exposed you to such
miseries as these: you think me a scoundrel because I was not selfish
enough to say to you, ‘Reject Francis Tredethlyn and a life of elegant
ease, and accept my devotion and an existence of penury and trouble.’”
“And you ask me now to fulfil my broken promise? Have you inherited a
fortune? or how is it that your ideas upon matrimony have altered?”
The schemer flushed crimson to the roots of his hair, and then grew
deadly pale. For the life of him he could not answer that question. He
could not say, “_My_ position is unchanged, but _you_ are rich. Give me
your fortune and the heart I did not choose to claim when it was
unaccompanied by fortune.”
“Had we not better wish each other good morning, Mr. Lowther?” Maude
said, after a little pause. “Your visit is ill-timed and most unwelcome.
Your presence reminds me of a cruel wrong done to a noble friend, a
devoted husband, whose worth I have learned only too late; whom I have
loved unconsciously, only to discover the depth of my affection when its
object is lost to me for ever.”
“You loved your husband!” cried Harcourt, with a cynical laugh; “you
seem determined to astonish me to-day. You loved your husband?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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