Only a Girl: or, A Physician for the Soul.Hillern, Wilhelmine von
General
Only a Girl: or, A Physician for the Soul.
Hillern, Wilhelmine von
German fiction -- Translations into English
Herbert timidly approached her and touched her shoulder lightly with a
trembling hand. "Would that I could console you!"
She shrank from his touch as if a reptile had stung her.
"What consolation can you give me, except the relief that I have in
pouring out my soul before you?"
She moved away, and again strode restlessly to and fro like a caged
lioness. "Fool, fool that I was! How could I suppose that the interest
he took in my husband's case was due to my attractions? It was inspired
by a hateful disease,--for this he came hither, and I thought he came
for my sake! Oh, fie, fie! I stayed for love of him by that terrible
sick-bed, and he had eyes only for the sick man,--he never even saw me
standing beside him. Is he man, or devil?"
"Oh, no," Herbert interrupted her, with malice, "he is only--a German
philosopher."
"And once, when I sank fainting in that room, what an arm supported me,
strong as iron, and yet tender as the arm of a mother! He carried me
like a child from the apartment. I held my breath, that nothing might
arouse me from that enchanting dream. He laid me on a couch, saying,
with icy composure, 'Allow me, madam, to call your maid. I must return
to the patient.' My cheeks burned with mortification; for one moment I
hated him, but when the door had closed behind him I revered him as a
saint. I could have knelt at his feet, and, clasping his knees, bedewed
his hands with penitential tears. But I restrained myself. I suddenly
knew that this pure spirit could love nothing that he did not
respect,--that I must first win that before I could hope for his love.
I determined to begin a new life, to break with all the past. For no
sacrifice would be too great to win the love of this man, and I sowed
renunciation that I might reap delight. Fool that I was! I reap nothing
but the reward of virtue!"
She laughed bitterly, and a violent burst of tears quenched the fire in
her brain. She threw herself down upon the lion's skin, unconsciously
representing the Ariadne.
"Loveliest of women!" murmured Herbert, intoxicated by the sight. "Is
it not monstrous that such a woman should mourn over an unrequited
love? Does he who could withstand such charms deserve the name of man?
No, most certainly not. He is an overstrained pedant, the type of a
German Philister, and if blind nature had not endowed him with the head
of a Jove and the form of an athlete, the Countess Worronska would
never have wasted a tear upon him!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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