Only a Girl: or, A Physician for the Soul.Hillern, Wilhelmine von
General
Only a Girl: or, A Physician for the Soul.
Hillern, Wilhelmine von
German fiction -- Translations into English
A crimson flush rose to the brow of her visitor. But her rage only
strengthened her determination to subdue her foe, superior as she could
not but acknowledge her to be. "Yes, what you say is true: I love
forms, because they are pleasant and useful. I hate propriety, because
it would be our master, and by propriety you mean decorum--I understand
you perfectly. Yes, then, yes: I love the forms of society, that give
an æsthetic charm to existence, and make it smooth and easy, but I hate
what people call decorum. When, in despair at the tyranny of my first
husband, and utterly loathing his rude vulgarity, I left him by
stealth, and fled, at peril of my life, across the half-frozen Neva to
my father, to share his solitude and poverty, I acted honourably, but
every one condemned me, the runaway wife was an object of scorn,--she
had sinned against the laws of decorum. But when, after my divorce, I
married the old Count Worronska, simply because I coveted rank and
wealth, I acted dishonourably, but I had done nothing indecorous. Every
one bowed low before me, and I found myself an object of respect to
others when I was so deeply sunk in my own esteem. And can I do homage
to decorum, the idol to which we are sacrificed, the empty scarecrow
that the selfishness of men sets up to keep us within our prison-walls?
In the folds of its garment lie hidden tyranny, hate and revenge,
jealousy and envy, malice and uncharitableness, ready to crawl out like
poisonous serpents and attack its victims. What free spirit will not
curse it if it has ever been aware of even the shadow of its rod? I
began by cursing it, but I have ended by despising it. I have sworn
hostility to it, and, trust me, there is a rare delight in stripping
it of its mask. Louisa A---- contends against it with far nobler
weapons-than it deserves. It is not worth the going out to meet it with
such solemn pathos. A hundred years hence, the world will laugh to
think that it should have had power to annoy such a woman as Louisa."
She ceased, and looked into Ernestine's face to see the effect of her
words. But there was no change of feature there.
"I cannot vie with you in your style of speaking, Countess Worronska. I
am used to plain thoughts. I am not practised in metaphor, and cannot
adorn what I say with such wealth of imagery. I can only reply plainly
and frankly to what you say, that what you designate as our foe I
consider our protection, and that it is a far different foe that I
contend with. Therefore we should never agree, and it is a useless
waste of time to attempt any closer intercourse."
The countess started, and the colour left her lips, so tightly were
they compressed. Yet she would make one more attempt. She regarded
Ernestine with a look of profound compassion, and possessed herself of
her reluctant hand. "Poor child! does even your bold spirit languish in
the fetters of prejudice? What a pity! How inconceivable! And will you
tell me what foe it is that you wish to subdue?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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