Only a Girl: or, A Physician for the Soul.Hillern, Wilhelmine von
General
Only a Girl: or, A Physician for the Soul.
Hillern, Wilhelmine von
German fiction -- Translations into English
"You are implacable in your righteous anger. Let me hope that the time
may come when my mother may atone for what she said to you to-day.
Dearest Ernestine, she startled back your young heart, just awakening
to its truest instincts; it was a poor preparation for what I wished to
say to you to-day, and yet,--and yet I must speak,--I can be silent no
longer. Yes, Ernestine, I wished to-day to ask you to be my wife. I
wished to entreat of you the sacrifice that marriage demands of every
woman, and of you more especially; and I firmly believe that if you
could have listened first to my views of the duties and the lot of a
wife, they would not have seemed to you as terrible as from the lips of
my practical mother. I hope to be able to shield you from the hard
materialism of life that so alarms you, and to which my mother attaches
too much importance. My white rose shall not be planted in a
kitchen-garden. You shall be the pride and ornament of my life. I ask
nothing from you but love for my heart, sympathy in my scientific
pursuits, and allowance for my faults." He took her hand in his, and
stood still. "Ernestine, will you not give me these?"
With bated breath he waited for her reply. In vain his glance sought
her eyes beneath their drooping lids.
Ernestine stood motionless in marble-like repose, and no human being
could divine what was passing in the depths of her soul. At last her
pale lips breathed scarcely audibly: "I cannot,--your mother,--I
cannot----"
"Oh, if you cannot love me, do not make her bear the blame, do not
overwhelm her with the curse of having robbed her son of the joy of his
life,--that were too severe a punishment! And, if you do love me,
conquer your pride nobly by showing her how she has mistaken you. Show
her all the woman in you, and prove to her that you are capable of
self-sacrifice, and revenge could not desire for her more profound
humiliation."
"I cannot make the sacrifice that she demands; and if I could I would
not, because she _demands_ it and makes it a condition. A soul that is
free will not barter away its convictions and its aims, even though the
happiness of a lifetime is at stake. When your mother asks me to resign
my plan of achieving an academic career, and to bury the immature
fruits of all my labours, she is excusable, for she does not dream what
she asks; but when you propose such conditions, you can, not only never
be my husband,--you can no longer be my friend, for you do not
understand me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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