He stopped, white and seemingly exhausted, his thin lips tightly
compressed, his whole frame quivering.
CHAPTER XXII.
Stella, turned her eyes upon him, and something like pity took
possession of her for a moment. It was a womanly feeling, and it
softened her reply.
"I--am very sorry," she said, in a low voice.
"Sorry!" he repeated, hoarsely, quickly. "Do not say that!"
"Yes--I am very sorry," she repeated. "I--I--did not know----"
"Did not know that I loved you!" he retorted, almost sharply. "Were you
blind? Every word, every look of mine would have told you, if you had
cared to know----"
Her face flushed, and she raised her eyes to his with a flash of
indignation.
"I did not know!" she breathed.
"Forgive me!" he pleaded hoarsely. "I--I am very unfortunate. I offend
and anger you! I told you that I should not be able to say what I had
to say with credit to myself. Pray forgive me. I meant that though I
tried to hide my love, it must have betrayed itself. How could it be
otherwise? Stella, have you no other word for me?"
"None," she said, looking away. "I am very sorry. I did not know. But
it could not have been. Never."
He stood regarding her, his breath coming in long gasps.
"You mean you never can love me?" he asked.
Stella raised her eyes.
"Yes," she said.
His hand closed over the knife until the back of the blade pressed
deeply into the quivering palm.
"Never is--is a long day," he said, hoarsely. "Do not say 'never.' I
will be patient; see, I am patient, I am calm now, and will not offend
you again! I will be patient and wait; I will wait for years, if you
will but give me hope--if you will but try to love me a little!"
Stella's face paled, and her lips quivered.
"I cannot," she said, in a low voice. "You--you do not understand.
One cannot teach oneself to love--cannot _try_. It is impossible.
Besides--you do not know what you ask. You do not understand!"
"Do I not?" he said, and a bitter sneer curled the thin lips. "I do
understand. I know--I have a suspicion of the reason why you answer me
like this."
Stella's face burnt for a moment, then went pale, but her eyes met his
steadily.
"There is something behind your refusal; no girl would speak as you
do unless there was something behind. There is someone else. Am I not
right?"
"You have no right to ask me!" said Stella, firmly.
"My love gives me the right to ask. But I need not put the question,
and there is no necessity for you to answer. If you have been blind, I
have not. I have seen and noted, and I tell you, I tell you plainly,
that what you hope for cannot be. I say cannot--shall not be!" he
added, between his closed teeth.
Stella's eyes flashed as she stood before him glorious in her
loveliness.
"Have you finished?" she asked.
He was silent, regarding her watchfully.
"If you have finished, Mr. Adelstone, I will leave you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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