Only an Ensign: A Tale of the Retreat from Cabul, Volume 2 (of 3)Grant, James
General
Only an Ensign: A Tale of the Retreat from Cabul, Volume 2 (of 3)
Grant, James
Afghan Wars -- Fiction
"Oh, Denzil, my brother, how my heart yearns for you now more than
ever! You know how much she loved us, Denzil, and how much our lives
were bound up in each other; thus I cannot convince myself that I am
quite alone, that she has gone from this world for ever, and that we
shall never see her more--never see that sweet smile which her
beautiful dark eyes always wore for us. Our darling mamma! I send
you a lock of her hair (you will see that grey had begun to mingle
with it); and I send you also a wild violet that grew near the grave
where I buried her."
Sybil's writing here became tremulous, almost illegible, and falling
tears had evidently blotted the ink. The poor young subaltern seemed
to forget his present surroundings; he felt himself a boy again, and,
covering his bowed-down face with his hands, wept bitterly.
"Time will soften what we suffer, Denzil; but shall I ever be the
same again? I never had any plan or future unconnected with poor
mamma, after you left us, and our papa was lost. I fear she wore her
life out with thinking of what would become of us--of me, perhaps,
more especially--when she was, as she now is, dead and gone. There
cannot be two beings more isolated than you and I are now, dear
Denzil, and your letters are my only comfort. I am so thankful to
find from them that you are a favourite with so many, that General
Trecarrel is so kind; and that honest fellow, Bob Waller, too, I feel
that I quite love him. How do you like the Misses Trecarrel? Rather
giddy, are they not? Has Mr. Audley Trevelyan joined yet?"
Then, as if with the mention of Audley's name other thoughts that
were unknown to Denzil occurred to her, Sybil added--
"My music and my sketching days are ended now, Denzil; as some one
has it, 'I may put away all the bright colours out of my paint-box,
for they have gone out of my life.' Vainly has our rubicund Rector,
fresh from his pretty parsonage, his happy family circle, as yet
unbroken and unclouded by sorrow, fresh, perhaps, from his sumptuous
luncheon and glass of full-bodied old port, besought me to take
comfort--that grieving for the dead was useless--and told me that
there is One above 'who turneth the shadow of death into mourning,'
for I can only weep as one who would not be comforted. The old man
is very kind to me, however--bless him! though we have suffered much
through that horrid Lamorna peerage story--much at the hands and
tongues even of those to whom mamma was ever open-hearted, and all
charity and benevolence; but you will remember what Lady Fanshawe
says of our common Cornish folks in her time, that 'they are of a
crafty and censorious nature, _as most are so far from London_.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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