Gregory sat down and leaned his head on the table in a manner that
showed he had passed beyond despondency and fear into despairing
indifference as to what became of him. He felt that henceforth he must
be simply odious to Miss Walton, that she would only tolerate his
presence as long as it was necessary, veiling her contempt by more
politeness. In his shame and weakness he would almost rather die than
meet her true, honest eyes again.
Annie had the courage of principle and firm resolve, rather than that
which is natural and physical. The thought of sudden and violent death
appalled her. If her impulsive nature were excited, like that of a
soldier in battle, she could forget danger. If in her bed at home she
were wasting with disease, she would soon submit to the Divine will
with childlike trust. But her whole being shrunk inexpressibly from
violent and unnatural death. Never before did life seem so sweet. Never
before was there so much to live for. She could have been a martyr in
any age and in any horrible form for conscience' sake, but she would
have met her fate tremblingly, shrinkingly, and with intense longings
for life. And yet with all this instinctive dread, her trust in God and
His promises would not fail. But instead of standing calmly erect on
her faith, and confronting destiny, it was her nature, in such terrible
emergencies, to cling in loving and utter dependence, and obey.
She therefore in no respect shared Gregory's indifference, but was
keenly alive to the situation.
At first, with her hand upon her heart to still its wild throbbings,
she listened intently, and tried to catch the drift of the fateful
conference within. This being vain, her eyes wandered hurriedly around
the room. Standing thus, she unconsciously completed a strange picture
in that incongruous place, with her dejected companion on one side, and
the great dog, eying her savagely, on the other. Gregory's despairing
attitude impressed her deeply. In a sudden rash of pity she felt that
he was not as cowardly as he had seemed. A woman with difficulty
forgives this sin. His harsh condemnation and evident detestation of
himself impelled her generous nature instinctively to take the part of
his weak and wronged spirit. She had early been taught to pity rather
than to condemn those whom evil is destroying. In all his depravity he
did not repel her, for, though proud, he had no petty, shallow vanity;
and the evident fact that he suffered so deeply disarmed her.
Moreover, companionship in trouble which she felt was partly her fault,
drew her toward him, and, stepping to his side, she laid her hand on
his shoulder and said, gently, "Cheer up, my friend; I understand you
better than you do yourself. God will bring us safely through."
He shrunk from her hand, and said, drearily, "With better reason than
younder woman I can say, 'I am not fit for you to touch.' As for God,
He has nothing to do with me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account