"You emphasize the word 'sister.' I suppose I ought to be more than
satisfied. Believe me I am very grateful that you can so speak. But
suppose the frankness I promised compels me to say that it does not,
and never can satisfy?"
"Then I shall think you very unreasonable. You have no right to ask
more than one has the power to give," she answered, with a look and
manner that were full of pain. "But surely, Mr. Gregory, we do not
understand each other."
"But I want you to understand me," he exclaimed, earnestly. "If you had
the vanity and worldly experience of most women, you would have known
before this that I love you."
Tears rushed into Annie's eyes, and for a few moments she walked on in
utter silence. This was so different an ending from what she had
expected! She felt that she must be very careful or she would undo all
she had attempted. She now dreaded utter failure, utter estrangement,
and how to avoid these was her chief thought.
They had reached the cedar thicket near which they had first met, and
she sat down upon the rock where she had found Gregory. Her whole aim
was to end this unfortunate matter so that they might still continue
friends. And yet the task seemed wellnigh impossible, for if he felt as
he said, how could she tell him about Hunting without increasing
alienation? But her impression was strong that he was acting under an
exaggerated sense of her services and under a mistaken belief that she
was essential to him. Therefore she tried at first to turn the matter
off lightly by saying, "Mr. Gregory, you are the most grateful man I
ever heard of. You need not think you must reward my slight services by
marrying me."
"Now you greatly wrong me," he answered. "Did I not say I loved you?
How deeply and truly you can never know. I cannot reward you. I did not
dream of such a thing. My best hope was that some time in the future,
when by long and patient effort I had become truly a man, you might
learn to think of me in the way I wish."
"Mr. Gregory," said she, in a voice full of trouble, "has my manner or
words led you to hope this? If so, I can never forgive myself."
"You have no cause for self-reproaches," he said, earnestly. "Though my
suit should ever prove hopeless, in the depths of my heart I will
acquit you of all blame. You have been what you promised--a true
friend, nothing more. But please understand me. I ask nothing now, I am
not worthy. Perhaps I never shall be. If so, I will not bind you to me
with even a gossamer thread. I have too deep a respect for you. But I
am so self-distrustful! I know my weakness better than you can. Still I
am confident that if _you_ could 'reward' me, and give the hope that
you would crown the victory with yourself, I could do anything. In
loving me, you would save me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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