Annie tried to feel resigned, since it was God's will. But the tie that
bound her to him was so tender, so interwoven with every fibre of her
heart, that she shrunk with inexpressible pain from its sundering. She
knew that she was not losing her father, that the worst before them was
but a brief separation, but how could she, who had lived so many happy
years at his side, endure even this? It seemed as if she could not let
him go, and in the strong, passionate yearning of her heart, she was
almost ready to leave youth, friends, lover, and all, to go with him.
She was one who lived in her affections rather than her surroundings.
The latter would matter little to her could she keep her
heart-treasures. It would have touched the coldest to see how she clung
to him toward the last. All else was forgotten, even Gregory, who might
be dying also. The instinct of nature was strong, and her father was
first.
Moreover, the relation between this parent and child was peculiarly
close, for they were not only in perfect sympathy in views, character,
and faith, but Annie had stepped to the side of the widowed man years
before and sought successfully to fill the place of one who had reached
home before him. Though so young, she had been his companion and daily
friend, interesting herself in that which interested him, and thus he
had been saved from that terrible loneliness which often breaks the
heart even in the midst of a household. It was therefore with a love
beyond words that his eyes rested most of the time on her and followed
her every movement.
She also had a vague and peculiar dread in looking forward to her
bereavement. An anticipating sense of isolation and loneliness chilled
her heart.
Though she would not openly admit it to herself, Hunting had
disappointed her since his return. She did not get from him the support
and Christian sympathy she expected. She tried to excuse him, and
charged herself with being too exacting, and yet the sense of something
wanting pained her. She had hoped that in these dark days he would be
serene and strong, and yet abounding in the tenderest sympathy. She had
expected words of faith and consolation that would have sustained her
spirit, fainting under a double and peculiar sorrow. She had felt sure
that before this his just gratitude, like a torrent, would have
overwhelmed and destroyed Gregory's enmity. But all had turned out so
differently! Instead of being a help, he had almost added to her burden
by his hostile feeling toward her preserver, which he had not been able
wholly to disguise. Such a feeling on his part seemed both unnatural
and wrong. He professed himself ready to do anything she wished for
Gregory, but it was in a half-hearted way, to oblige her, and not for
the sake of the injured man. When she went to him for Christian
consolation, his words, though well-chosen, lacked heartiness and the
satisfying power of truth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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