Opium Eating: An Autobiographical Sketch by an HabituateAnonymous
History
Opium Eating: An Autobiographical Sketch by an Habituate
Anonymous
Opium abuse -- United States; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Prisoners and prisons
He has already, in common parlance, despaired of any happiness in his
future;--in his future natural life, I mean. That is to say, he does not,
like other men, expect to be happy on this or that occasion, though he
works and expects more security and ease of mind on the attainment of this
or that end.
Still, the opium eater's sensibilities are not armor. A wound from a cruel
word pierces deep and rankles. In truth, I used to have to watch myself
closely, to see whether in reality my wounds had their origin in fact or
imagination. Any fancied neglect or slight from the business manager lay
upon my heart with sickening weight. Direct and "palpable hits" cut to the
bone. During the past year or so, although I have not changed my business
situation, I seem to have been treated better, and have not been so much
ruffled in this respect. But the opium eater's general state of feeling,
aside from pains in body and hurts in mind, is such as might be left
behind by some great sorrow; an abiding gloominess of feeling is cast
over his spirit. This exists in varying degrees of depth or intensity, of
course:--it depends upon his condition as to opium, and the particular
state of his body and mind as an opium eater.
Julius C. Hare, in speaking of Coleridge, said: "His sensibilities were
such as an averted look would rack, who would have stood in the presence
of an earthquake unmoved." In reading an article on Tom Hood, some time
ago, I observed that the author, in speaking of Hood's companions in
literature, alluded to the "pale, sad face of De Quincey." Oh, that men of
such transcendent powers as Coleridge and De Quincey should be stricken
down by the fiend of opium! Verily, if "in struggling with misfortune lies
the proof of virtue," I have not the slightest doubt that to-day these two
stars in literature, their bright spirits divested of the mask of opium,
shine with light ineffable in the councils of the blest! What they did is
not so much, as that they accomplished it under the withering curse of
opium. And yet what they have left will stand comparison with that of the
best of their contemporaries, each in his particular field or fields of
literature. And if
"Tears and groans, and never-ceasing care,
And all the pious violence of prayer,"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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