"But I am told," said I, "that he has something like two or ten or
thirty millions--I have forgotten which."
"I know what you mean," she said. "I will not pretend that I do not.
I am not going to marry Mr. North."
"Then why are you leaving the stage?" I asked, severely. "What else
can you do to earn a living?"
She came closer to me, and I can see the look in her eyes yet as she
spoke.
"I can pick ducks," she said.
We sold the first year's feathers for $350.
A POOR RULE
I have always maintained, and asserted time to time, that woman is
no mystery; that man can foretell, construe, subdue, comprehend, and
interpret her. That she is a mystery has been foisted by herself
upon credulous mankind. Whether I am right or wrong we shall see. As
"Harper's Drawer" used to say in bygone years: "The following good
story is told of Miss ----, Mr. ----, Mr. ----, and Mr. ----."
We shall have to omit "Bishop X" and "the Rev. ----," for they do not
belong.
In those days Paloma was a new town on the line of the Southern
Pacific. A reporter would have called it a "mushroom" town; but it
was not. Paloma was, first and last, of the toadstool variety.
The train stopped there at noon for the engine to drink and for the
passengers both to drink and to dine. There was a new yellow-pine
hotel, also a wool warehouse, and perhaps three dozen box residences.
The rest was composed of tents, cow ponies, "black-waxy" mud,
and mesquite-trees, all bound round by a horizon. Paloma was an
about-to-be city. The houses represented faith; the tents hope; the
twice-a-day train, by which you might leave, creditably sustained
the rôle of charity.
The Parisian Restaurant occupied the muddiest spot in the town while
it rained, and the warmest when it shone. It was operated, owned, and
perpetrated by a citizen known as Old Man Hinkle, who had come out
of Indiana to make his fortune in this land of condensed milk and
sorghum.
There was a four-room, unpainted, weather-boarded box house in which
the family lived. From the kitchen extended a "shelter" made of poles
covered with chaparral brush. Under this was a table and two benches,
each twenty feet long, the product of Paloma home carpentry. Here
was set forth the roast mutton, the stewed apples, boiled beans,
soda-biscuits, puddinorpie, and hot coffee of the Parisian menu.
Ma Hinkle and a subordinate known to the ears as "Betty," but denied
to the eyesight, presided at the range. Pa Hinkle himself, with
salamandrous thumbs, served the scalding viands. During rush hours a
Mexican youth, who rolled and smoked cigarettes between courses, aided
him in waiting on the guests. As is customary at Parisian banquets, I
place the sweets at the end of my wordy menu.
Ileen Hinkle!
The spelling is correct, for I have seen her write it. No doubt she
had been named by ear; but she so splendidly bore the orthography
that Tom Moore himself (had he seen her) would have endorsed the
phonography.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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