OrientationsMaugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
General
Orientations
Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
Fiction; Short stories, English
'Well, Edith says we ought to go, just to show them we don't care.'
'Well, I shall come too!' cried Mrs Griffith.
IX
Next evening half Blackstable took the special train to Tercanbury,
which had been put on for the pantomime, and there was such a crowd at
the doors that the impresario half thought of extending his stay. The
Rev. Charles Gray and Mrs Gray were there, also James, their nephew. Mr
Gray had some scruples about going to a theatre, but his wife said a
pantomime was quite different; besides, curiosity may gently enter even
a clerical bosom. Miss Reed was there in black satin, with her friend
Mrs Howlett; Mrs Griffith sat in the middle of the stalls, flanked by
her dutiful son and her daughter-in-law; and George searched for female
beauty with his opera-glass, which is quite the proper thing to do on
such occasions....
The curtain went up, and the villagers of Dick Whittington's native
place sang a chorus.
'Now she's coming,' whispered George.
All those Blackstable hearts stood still. And Daisy, as Dick
Whittington, bounded on the stage--in flesh-coloured tights, with
particularly scanty trunks, and her bodice--rather low. The vicar's
nephew sniggered, and Mrs Gray gave him a reproachful glance; all the
other Blackstable people looked pained; Miss Reed blushed. But as Daisy
waved her hand and gave a kick, the audience broke out into prolonged
applause; Tercanbury people have no moral sense, although Tercanbury is
a cathedral city.
Daisy began to sing,--
_I'm a jolly sort of boy, tol, lol,_
_And I don't care a damn who knows it._
_I'm fond of every joy, tol, lol,_
_As you may very well suppose it._
_Tol, lol, lol,_
_Tol, lol, lol._
Then the audience, the audience of a cathedral city, as Mr Gray said,
took up the refrain,--
_Tol, lol, lol,_
_Tol, lol, lol._
However, the piece went on to the bitter end, and Dick Whittington
appeared in many different costumes and sang many songs, and kicked many
kicks, till he was finally made Lord Mayor--in tights.
Ah, it was an evening of bitter humiliation for Blackstable people. Some
of them, as Miss Reed said, behaved scandalously; they really appeared
to enjoy it. And even George laughed at some of the jokes the cat made,
though his wife and his mother sternly reproved him.
'I'm ashamed of you, George, laughing at such a time!' they said.
Afterwards the Grays and Miss Reed got into the same railway carriage
with the Griffiths.
'Well, Mrs Griffith,' said the vicar's wife, 'what do you think of your
daughter now?'
'Mrs Gray,' replied Mrs Griffith, solemnly, 'I haven't got a daughter.'
'That's a very proper spirit in which to look at it,' answered the
lady.... 'She was simply covered with diamonds.'
'They must be worth a fortune,' said Miss Reed.
'Oh, I daresay they're not real,' said Mrs Gray; 'at that distance and
with the lime-light, you know, it's very difficult to tell.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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