"Why, so," says I, and in imagination, you know, I holds the bill up against the wall with one hand, stirs the brush round in my paste with the other, and then well lathers or lubricates the back of the paper, then turns him, claps him in his place, and touches him over with the brush so as he fits into all the crevices tight. "And now," says I, "read," and you read, or is s'posed to read, as follers, though of course it's me speaking:-- "The poor man allus goes to the cheap shop." "Right enough too," says you. "Gammon," says I, for that cheap's a word as ain't to be found in reality; it's a word as my philosophic friend Josef Sprouts would call "a beautiful illoosion." It's a ignis something--I don't quite know what--as cheats men on to follow it, and then bogs them as tight as my brush is bogged in dry weather in the crusty paste. Don't you never buy nothing cheap. Now, this is the way. You goes and buys cheap butter at fourteen-pence when you might have had it as honest dripping, afore the tater flour and yaller colour was put in, for ninepence. You buys penny candles one at a time, and so gives eight pence a pound when you might have had 'em for seven-pence. You buys: cheap tea at two shillings, when one spoonful of three-shilling goes twice as fur. Working men's stout bluchers, all brown paper and bosh. Cheap clothes, as falls all to pieces, and shrinks anyhow, till the bottoms of the trousers seem to have made up their minds to be tight knickerbockers. Cheap calico, as is all facing till it's washed, when it turns out canvas or fine net. Coffee, as is--well, perhaps what I heard about burnt liver ain't true, after all; but you may depend upon one thing, and that is, that the man as buys the best of everything in a plain way lives the cheapest. Look at flour. Well, say the best is a penny a quartern more--and the wife seems so satisfied because she thinks she is saving. Why, it's a mistake altogether, and if you feed yourself with so much husk amongst your corn, mustn't you have more corn to supply the nutriment? Don't tell me! I haven't made paste so many years without being a good judge of flour.