_Mat._ I don’t rimimber kissin’ it. _O’Fi._ You observe, sorr. She don’t rimimber kissin’ it. _Mat._ Oh, papa! (_Crying._) _O’Fi._ What’s the matter, my dear? _Mat._ There’s somethin’ about him that remoinds me of poor Tom! _O’Fi._ There’s a faint resemblance; I remarked it meself. (_Wipes his eyes._) _Tom._ Now, Matilda, don’t _you_ deny me? I’ve loved you so long in spite of your not having any money, and although you do go with the bills, and although you _are_ older than I am, don’t turn against me now. Oh, you _do_ look so pretty! (_Puts his arm round her and kisses her._) _Enter WHIPPLE. He seizes TOM by the collar and whirls him away from MATILDA._ _Tom_ (_seizing his hand_). My dear Tim--my very dear Tim--you’re the very man I wanted to see! I am most unaffectedly delighted to see you. (_Shaking his hand heartily._) How well--how remarkably well you’re looking, to be sure! _Whi._ (_shaking his hand with a great show of welcome_). Yes, uncommonly well--never better. And how have _you_ been? _Tom._ Very well, but rather dull. I say, I’ve got into a nice scrape! They’re after me--they’re advertising for me! _Whi._ No! _Tom._ Fact! £50 is offered for me! What do you say to that? _Whi._ Well, I should close with it. _Tom._ Why? _Whi._ Because I should think it’s a good deal more than you’re worth. _Tom._ Ha, ha! _Whi._ Ha, ha! _Tom._ What a fellow you are! Same old Whipple! I say, the Colonel’s a cool hand. What d’ye think he says now? _Whi._ Nothing worth repeating, I should imagine. _Tom._ What a caustic fellow you are! He says I’m dead! _Whi._ Oh, he’s an Irishman. _Tom._ Ha, ha! Oh, that’s very good: that’s so like you. _Whi._ _He’s_ not dead, Colonel. (_Feeling TOM’S pulse._) _Tom._ There, Matilda, you hear that! (_About to embrace her._) _Whi._ What are you about? How dare you embrace that young lady? (_Stopping him._) _Tom._ You said I was alive. _Whi._ But, bless my heart, you don’t suppose every man alive is privileged to embrace Miss O’Fipp? _Mat._ A nice time I’d have of it. _O’Fi._ I tell ye, sorr, Tom Cobb is dead and buried. _Whi._ Yes, poor Tom, he’s dead. (_Wipes his eyes._) _Tom._ But you just said I was alive. _Whi._ Yes, old chap, you’re alive. _Tom_ (_puzzled_). I see, your theory is that I’m alive; but I’m not Tom Cobb. _Whi._ Yes; that’s my theory. _Tom._ But I’m like him, ain’t I? _Whi._ Well, now you mention it, you _are_ like him. _Tom._ Matilda--once more, I implore you---- (_Seizing her hand._) _Whi._ Matilda, leave the room! (_Takes her to door._) Sir, misled by a resemblance, which I admit to be striking, you have come here under the impression that you are my departed friend. I can excuse the error; but now that it’s been pointed out to you, if ever you attempt to embrace this young lady again, I’ll break your leg and set it myself. [_Exit._ _Tom._ Colonel O’Fipp, I----