"A pot of tea and some bread and butter and cake, missis," he said;
then he entered a small parlour behind the shop. The woman lighted a
gas jet over their heads, in the corner that Lawrence chose farthest
from the door. Presently she brought a tray with their tea upon it,
and then she left them. The time was past four.
"Will you pour the tea, Dinah?"
"Yes, I will then," she said. "Be you happy to see me, Lawrence?"
"You know it. I'd sooner see you than anything in the world. Shall
I tell her to light a blink of fire? She would. 'Tis a thought cold
in here."
"No, no; I'm not cold. Talk--talk to me. Let me hear you talk."
He leant across and took her hand.
"Let me hold it a minute. I like to feel it. You know a bit of what
I'm going to tell you; but only a terrible little bit. I wish there
was no more than that to tell."
She held his hand tightly.
"I love you. I've known it a long time, Dinah. That's the little
bit I think you know. If that was all----"
"It is all--all on earth that matters to me," she said quietly. "And
I did know. I wouldn't believe myself for a long time; but it was
vain fighting against it. If it happens to you, you must know. I
wouldn't have doubted, perhaps, if I hadn't loved you back so fierce.
That made me doubt, because it seemed too good to be true and a long
way past my deserving. Now the rest don't signify. Nothing's so big
as knowing you love me, Lawrence."
"The bigger thing is that it can't be."
She shrank and he felt her hand grow limp. He took his from it and
considered how to begin speaking. Meantime she spoke.
"That's a hard thing--not a bigger thing," she said quietly; "it
can't alter what is."
"You must hear from the beginning. If I'd ever thought this would
happen, I'd have gone long ago. But it came like a thief, Dinah."
"Same with me. Go on--tell why not--quick."
"I'm married," he said.
She bent her head and leant back and shut her eyes.
"That's the only thing that could come between you and me. I'm
married. It's a mad tale, and I was the madman, so most people said.
Maybe you will, too; maybe you won't. I shall know in a minute.
Yet, if I thought what I was going to say would make you hate me, I
wouldn't say it. But it won't do that."
She was looking at him with wet eyes.
"How could I hate you? Love's love. I'd see a way to love you
through it if you killed her."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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