Neal was not in the habit, with all his ferreting propensities, of
sitting up at night to pursue them; but this night was an exceptional
one. To say that Neal had been astonished, confounded at what had
taken place, at the knowledge he believed he had acquired, would be
saying little, in comparison with its effect upon his mind. He did not
love his master; he did not like him; it may not be going too far to
say that he hated him; for Neal's instinct had taught him that his
master partially saw through him, partially suspected him to be the
villain that he was; but to believe him capable of deliberately
destroying one of his patients, was in truth almost too great a
stretch for even Neal. Until that night, Neal could not have believed
him capable of any wrong act: he gave him credit, for he could not
help doing so, for his honour and his virtues, while he disliked him:
but he did in truth now believe that Dr. Davenal had wilfully killed
Lady Oswald. That is, that he had given her the chloroform
deliberately, knowing it would probably take her life.
The faintest possible doubt of this had been first caught from the
words of Parkins. Not real doubt, but a sort of angry feeling of the
extreme imprudence of the doctor in having given it: Neal no more
believed then that Dr. Davenal had done it, or was capable of doing
it, than he could have believed the most monstrous improbability in
the world. Still the _idea_ had been admitted: and when that strange
visitor was with his master afterwards, and Neal heard, with his own
ears, the suspicious words that fell, he could put upon them but one
interpretation--that, incredible as it seemed, his master _was_
guilty, and not unintentionally, of the death of Lady Oswald. Neal
hoped to arrive at the why and the wherefore, and he thought nothing
of sitting up the night to do it: if by that means he might gain any
satisfactory solution. Neal, it must be confessed, was utterly stunned
with the affair, with the belief; and could hot see or understand yet
with any clearness: like a man who is struck violently on the head,
and looks around him in stupid helpless maze, as if he had a dead wall
before him. A shock to the head and a shock to the mind will bear for
the passing moment the same apparent result.
Dr. Davenal paced his room, his two rooms in fact, for the door was
open between them, and he passed from one to the other in his restless
wanderings, his mental agony. Soon after two he began to wash and
dress himself; that is, he changed some of his clothes, and poured out
a wash-hand basin of cold water and splashed his face with it. He put
on a pair of boots; he searched for his gloves; he looked out an
overcoat; and then he stood for a few minutes and thought.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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