It cannot be denied that Oswald Cray, calm of temperament though he
was, sound of judgment, did fall into the snare that the web of events
had woven around him; and, in the midnight watches, when things wear
to our senses a weird, ghost-like hue, the disagreeable word murder
suggested itself to him oftener than he would have cared to confess in
broad matter-of-fact daylight. But as the days went on his senses came
to him. Reason reasserted her empire, and he flung the dark doubt
from him, as unworthy of himself and the present enlightened age. It
was impossible to connect such a crime with Dr. Davenal.
But still, though he shook off the worst view, he could not shake off
the circumstances and their suspicion. Perhaps it was next to
impossible, knowing what he did know of the doctor's sentiments as to
chloroform, hearing, as he had heard, Neal's account of the words
spoken at the midnight interview, that he should shake them off. They
turned and twisted themselves about in his mind in spite of his will;
he would have given much to get rid of them, but he could not. Now
taking one phase, now another, now looking dark, now light, there they
were, like so many phantoms, ever springing up from different corners
of his mind, and putting legitimate thoughts out of it. Up and in bed,
at work or at rest, were those conflicting arguments ever dancing
attendance on him, until, from sheer perplexity, his brain would seem
to lose its subtle powers, and grow dull from very weariness. But the
worst aspect of the affair gradually lost its impression, and reason
drove away the high colours of imagination.
The conclusion to which he at length came, and in which he finally
settled down, was that Dr. Davenal had been in a partial degree
guilty. He _could not_ think that he had given that chloroform to Lady
Oswald with the deliberate view of taking her life, as some of our
worst criminals have taken lives: but he did believe there was some
hidden culpability attached to it. Could it have been given in
forgetfulness?--or by way of experiment?--or carelessly? Oswald Cray
asked himself those questions ten times in a day. No, no, reason
answered; Dr. Davenal was not a man to forget, or to experimentalise,
or to do things carelessly. And then, with the answer, rose the one
dark, awful doubt again, tormenting him not less with its shadows than
with its preposterous absurdity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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