"I fear not," he gravely answered. "I am accustomed to impress upon my
patients the great truth that while there is life there is hope, and I
should be worse than a heathen to ignore it in my own case. But, all I
can say is, I cannot trust to it."
She had laid one of her hands upon the folds of the dressing-gown, and
the doctor could feel the twitching of the fingers. He had asked her
to sit down, but she preferred to stand. Close to him, with her head
bent, she could hear his low words without much misapprehension, so
deliberately were they spoken between the panting breath.
"Bettina, I don't go to my grave as I thought I should have gone,
providing for my children. I have been obliged to sacrifice all I had
put by. It was not a great deal, it's true, for I am but what's called
a middle-aged man, and my expenses have been high. Could I have
foreseen my early death, I should have lived at half the rate. And
this sacrifice will not die with me. The house--I daresay I shall
shock you, Bettina--is mortgaged; not, however, to its full value. I
have directed in my will that it shall be sold; and the residue, after
the mortgage is paid--can you hear me?" he broke off to ask.
"Every word."
"The residue and the proceeds of the furniture, and those two small
cottages of mine, and other effects which will be likewise sold, will
make a fair sum. There's money owing to me in the town, too.
Altogether I expect there will not be much less than three thousand
pounds----"
"Richard!" shrieked out Miss Bettina, in her emotion. "_Three_
thousand! I thought you were worth ten at least."
"No, it was not so much as that altogether. I had four or five
thousand put by. Never mind: I say I have had to sacrifice it. I feel
how imprudent I have been, now that it is too late."
"To what have you had to sacrifice it?"
The doctor paused before he replied. "A sudden claim came upon me of
which I knew nothing: a claim for thousands. No, Bettina, I know what
you wish to say--believe me, I _could not_ resist it: to pay it was
obligatory. The worst is, I could not pay it all: and the sum which
the property will realise will have to be applied to liquidate it."
"But you can tell me what the claim was for?"
"No, I cannot. It is not altogether my secret, Bettina, and you must
not inquire into it. I need not have mentioned it at all to you, but
for speaking of Sara. My poor children must suffer. Edward has his
day, and he will have to make it suffice: Sara has nothing. Bettina,
you will give her a home?"
"There's no necessity for you to ask it," was Bettina Davenal's
answer. But she spoke crossly; for the want of confidence in not
intrusting to her the nature of this secret was hurting her feelings
bitterly. "Should anything happen to you, Sara will naturally find a
home with me--if she can put up with its plainness. I shall make her
as welcome, and consider it as obligatory on me to do so, as though
she were my own child."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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