As they parted, a feeling was in Mark's heart that he would not have
liked to confess to the other, and that perhaps he neither cared to
encourage nor to dwell upon. He felt perfectly sure of his own
skill; he was not nervous; nobody less so; and yet there was a
half-reluctance in his mind to perform that operation in the presence
of Dr. Davenal, the skilled and accomplished operator. Surely the
reluctance could only spring from a latent doubt of whether he ought
to make so sure of himself! A _latent_ doubt; one not suffered to
appear down far in the depths of his heart it lay--so deep that
perhaps Mark thought it was not there at all, that it was only fancy.
He had a great deal rather have had Berry with him--_that_ he
acknowledged openly enough to himself. Surgeon Berry was a man of fair
average skill, superior to Mark in experience, and he and Mark were
great friends. Did Mark fear that the presence of the more finished
and perfect surgeon, with his critical eye, his practised judgment,
would render him nervous--as a candidate for the Civil Service
examinations will break down, simply because those searching eyes are
on him? No, Mark Cray feared nothing of the sort; and he could not
have told, had he been pressed, why he would have preferred the
absence of Dr. Davenal. He had looked on many a time at the doctor in
such cases: but that was a different thing.
His thoughts were interrupted by Julius Wild. The young man accosted
him to inquire if there were any orders--whether he should be wanted.
"Yes," said Mr. Cray. "Lady Oswald's case is fixed for this afternoon.
You be up there with the dressings and things."
"Very well, sir," replied the young man, feeling some surprise; for he
was not in the habit of attending privately with Dr. Davenal "Am I to
go to Dr. Davenal's for them?"
"No. You can get them from the Infirmary."
"The Infirmary!" thought Julius Wild to himself. "Can _he_ be going to
take the operation?"--for Mr. Cray's surgical apparatus was kept at
the Infirmary. He did not ask: his professional master seemed
unusually silent--not to say cross.
"What time?" he inquired of Mr. Cray.
"Be at Lady Oswald's a little before half-past----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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