"Samuel always was a bad case. So it's come to this, that Tom is trying
to keep William out of jail? It's rather a pretty situation, as you
think of it," she murmured. "Just how does Tom get on?"
"Tom didn't get on at all for a long time; but whenever he was pushed
into a case he burnt himself up on it. Tom was always that kind of a
fellow--if the drums beat hard enough he would put on his war paint and
go out and win the fight. There's a dreamy streak in Tom; I guess he
never boiled out all the college professor he had in him; but he's to
the front now. They think a lot of him over at Indianapolis; he's had a
chance to go into one of the best law firms there. He's got brains in
his head--and if--"
His jaws shut with a snap, as he remembered that his auditor was a woman
who had weighed Tom Kirkwood in the balance and found him wanting. Lois
noted his abrupt silence. She had clasped her knees and bent forward,
staring musingly into the fire, as he began speaking of Kirkwood. Amzi's
cheeks filled with the breath that had nearly voiced that "if."
"If he hadn't married a woman who didn't appreciate him and who wrecked
his life for him, there's no telling what he might have done."
She finished his sentence dispassionately, and sat back in her chair;
and as he blinked in his fear of wounding her by anything he might say,
she took matters in her own hands.
"I was a fool, Amzi. There you have it all tied up in a package and
labeled in red ink; and we needn't ever speak of it again. It's on the
shelf--the top one, behind the door, as far as I'm concerned. I haven't
come back to cry over spilt milk, like a naughty dairymaid who trips and
falls on the cellar steps. I ought to; I ought to put on mourning for
myself and crawl into Center Church on my knees and ask the Lord's
forgiveness before the whole congregation. But I'm not going to do
anything of the kind. One reason is that it wouldn't do me any good; and
the other is that I'd never get out of the church alive. They'd tear me
to pieces! It's this way, Amzi, that if we were all made in the same
mould you could work out a philosophy from experience that would apply
to everybody; but the trouble is that we're all different. I'm
different; it was because I was different that I shook Tom and went off
with Jack. Of course, the other man is a worthless cur and loafer;
that's where fate flew up and struck at me--a deserved blow. But when I
saw that I had made a bad break, I didn't sit down and sob; I merely
tried to put a little starch into my self-respect and keep from going
clear downhill. Tom's probably forgotten me by this time; he never was
much of a hater and I guess that's what made me get tired of him. He
always had the other cheek ready, and when I annoyed him he used to take
refuge in the Greek poets, who didn't mean anything to me."
She smiled as though the recollection of the Greek poets amused her and
ran on in her low, musical voice:--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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