"You must not let it crush you, Edna. You must not let it lead you to
despair. However heavy the burden, and however much we deserve the
suffering which our follies and mistakes and sins bring, there is one
all-sufficient way of deliverance. Jesus, by His death on the cross, has
made it possible for us to be freely forgiven; and if we come to Him in
faith and prayer, the Holy Spirit will lead us into the full experience
of salvation and peace. Your will is very strong; why do you not will
this one thing--to become worthy of the love of a true man like Mr.
Sinclair? I do not say that things will be the same between you; I know
too little about the world to guess how a man acts under such
circumstances; but if you care for him really--if indeed he stands so
high in your estimation as a good man whom you have misunderstood and
wronged, then, even if you lead your lives apart, you may still try to
live nobly that he may think of you with respect. You may still let the
influence of this trial guide you to a higher and better life. Would not
this make things more bearable?"
Bessie's words, spoken with intense earnestness, seemed to stir Edna's
mind, rousing it from its bitter apathy of hopeless remorse and grief; a
faint light came into her eyes.
"Do you think I could grow better--that Neville would ever hear of me?
Oh, I should like to try. I do so hate myself, Bessie. I seem to grow
more selfish and horrid every year. I thought Neville would help me to
be good, but without him----" And here the tears came again.
"Without him it will be doubly hard. Yes, I know that, Edna dear; but
you must lean on a stronger arm than his--an arm that will never fail
you. Cast all your burden upon the loving sympathy and tender heart of
the Lord Jesus, and He will lead and comfort you. Now you are utterly
exhausted, and the storm is quite lulled; do go back to your room; you
will be able to sleep, and it is nearly three o'clock."
"And I have kept you awake all this time," remorsefully. "Well, I will
go; the pain is a little easier to bear now. I will think over your
words; they seem to have a sort of comfort in them. Yes, I deserve to be
unhappy for making Neville so wretched. Good-bye, dear Bessie; you are a
real friend to me, for you tell me nothing but the truth."
Bessie kissed her affectionately, and then Edna left the room; but
Bessie found it difficult to resume her interrupted dreams; the splash
of the raindrops against her windows had a depressing sound, the
darkness was dense and oppressive, a vague sadness seemed to brood over
everything, and it was long before she could quiet herself enough to
sleep. Strangely enough, her last waking thoughts were of Hatty, not of
Edna, and she was dreaming about her when the maid came to wake her in
the morning.
Edna did not come down to breakfast; the storm had disturbed her, Mrs.
Sefton said. "I think it must have kept you awake, too," she observed,
with a glance at Bessie's tired face.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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