Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined SocietyYoung, John H.
General
Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society
Young, John H.
Etiquette
It is customary in cities to give the notice of death and announcement
of a funeral through the daily newspapers, though sometimes when such
announcement may not reach all friends in time, invitations to the
funeral are sent to personal and family friends of the deceased. In
villages where there is no daily paper, such invitations are often
issued.
Private invitations are usually printed on fine small note paper, with a
heavy black border, and in such form as the following:
[Illustration:
_Yourself and family are respectfully invited to
attend the funeral of Mr. James B. Southey, from
his late residence, No. 897 Williams avenue, on
Friday, October 18, at 3 o' clock P.M. (or from
St. Paul's Episcopal Church), to proceed to
Woodland Cemetery._]
When an announcement of a death is sent to a friend or relative at a
distant point, it is usual to telegraph or to write the notice of death,
time and place of funeral, to allow the friend an opportunity to arrive
before the services.
It is a breach of good manners not to accept an invitation to a funeral,
when one is sent.
ARRANGEMENTS FOR THE FUNERAL.
It is customary to trust the details of the arrangements for the funeral
to some relative or friend of the family, and if there be no friend who
can perform this duty, it can be safely left with the undertaker to
perform the painful duties of master of ceremonies. It is prudent to
name a limit for the expenses of the funeral, and the means of the
family should always govern these. Pomp and display should always be
avoided, as they are out of keeping with the solemn occasion, and
inconsistent with real grief. At the funeral some one should act as
usher to seat the friends who attend.
THE HOUSE OF MOURNING.
Upon entering the house of mourning, a gentleman should always remove
his hat in the hall, and not replace it until he is about to depart. No
calls of condolence should be made upon the bereaved family while the
dead remains in the house, and members of the family may be excused from
receiving any but their most intimate friends at that time.
There should be no loud talking or confusion while the body remains in
the house. All differences and quarrels must be forgotten in the house
of mourning, and personal enemies who meet at a funeral must treat each
other with respect and dignity. The bell knob or door handle is draped
with black crape, with a black ribbon tied on, if the deceased is
married or advanced in years, and with a white ribbon, if young or
unmarried.
THE FUNERAL SERVICES.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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