Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined SocietyYoung, John H.
General
Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society
Young, John H.
Etiquette
Another duty of guests is that each one should do all in his or her
power to contribute to the enjoyment of the evening, and neither
hesitate nor decline to be introduced to such guests as the hostess
requests. It is not binding upon any gentleman to remain one moment
longer than he desires with any lady. By constantly moving from one to
another, when he feels so inclined, he gives an opportunity to others to
circulate as freely; and this custom, generally introduced in our
society, would go a long way toward contributing to the enjoyment of
all. The false notion generally entertained that a gentleman is expected
to remain standing by the side of a lady, like a sentinel on duty, until
relieved by some other person, is absurd, and deters many who would
gladly give a few passing moments to lady acquaintances, could they but
know that they would be free to leave at any instant that conversation
flagged, or that they desired to join another. In a society where it is
not considered a rudeness to leave after a few sentences with one, to
exchange some words with another, there is a constant interchange of
civilities, and the men circulate through the room with that charming
freedom which insures the enjoyment of all.
While the hostess is receiving, no person should remain beside her
except members of her family who receive with her, or such friends as
she has designated to assist her. All persons entering should pass on to
make room for others.
SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR GENTLEMEN.
A gentleman should never attempt to step across a lady's train. He
should walk around it. If by any accident he should tread upon any
portion of her dress, he must instantly beg her pardon, and if by
greater carelessness he should tear it, he must pause in his course and
offer to escort her to the dressing-room so that she may have it
repaired.
If a lady asks any favor of a gentleman, such as to send a servant to
her with a glass of water, to take her into the ball-room when she is
without an escort, to inquire whether her carriage is in waiting, or any
of the numerous services which ladies often require, no gentleman will,
under any circumstances, refuse her request.
A really well-bred man will remember to ask the daughters of a house to
dance, as it is his imperative duty to do so; and if the ball has been
given for a lady who dances, he should include her in his attentions. If
he wishes to be considered a thorough-bred gentleman, he will sacrifice
himself occasionally to those who are unsought and neglected in the
dance. The consciousness of having performed a kind and courteous action
will be his reward.
When gentlemen, invited to a house on the occasion of an entertainment,
are not acquainted with all the members of the family, their first duty,
after speaking to their host and hostess, is to ask some common friend
to introduce them to those members whom they do not know. The host and
hostess are often too much occupied in receiving to be able to do this.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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