Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined SocietyYoung, John H.
General
Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society
Young, John H.
Etiquette
While driving with another who holds the reins, you must not interfere
with the driver, as anything of this kind implies a reproof, which is
very offensive. If you think his conduct wrong, or are in fear of danger
resulting, you may delicately suggest a change, apologizing therefor.
You should resign yourself to the driver's control, and be perfectly
calm and self-possessed during the course of a drive.
CHAPTER XVI.
Courtship and Marriage.
The correct behavior of young men toward young ladies, and of young
ladies toward young men, during that portion of their lives when they
are respectively paying attention to, and receiving attention from, one
another, is a matter which requires consideration in a work of this
nature.
A GENTLEMAN'S CONDUCT TOWARD LADIES.
Young people of either sex, who have arrived at mature age, and who are
not engaged, have the utmost freedom in their social intercourse in this
country, and are at liberty to associate and mingle freely in the same
circles with those of the opposite sex. Gentlemen are at liberty to
invite their lady friends to concerts, operas, balls, etc., to call upon
them at their homes, to ride and drive with them, and make themselves
agreeable to all young ladies to whom their company is acceptable. In
fact they are at liberty to accept invitations and give them _ad
libitum_. As soon, however, as a young gentleman neglects all others,
to devote himself to a single lady, he gives that lady reason to suppose
that he is particularly attracted to her, and may give her cause to
believe that she is to become engaged to him, without telling her so. A
gentleman who does not contemplate matrimony should not pay too
exclusive attention to any one lady.
A LADY'S CONDUCT TOWARD GENTLEMEN.
A young lady who is not engaged may receive calls and attentions from
such unmarried gentlemen as she desires, and may accept invitations to
ride, to concerts, theatres, etc. She should use due discretion,
however, as to whom she favors by the acceptance of such invitations. A
young lady should not allow special attention from anyone to whom she is
not specially attracted, because, first, she may do injury to the
gentleman in seeming to give his suit encouragement; and, secondly, she
may keep away from her those whom she likes better, but who will not
approach her under the mistaken idea that her feelings are already
interested. A young lady should not encourage the addresses of a
gentleman unless she feels that she can return his affections. It is the
prerogative of a man to propose, and of a woman to accept or refuse, and
a lady of tact and kind heart will exercise her prerogative before her
suitor is brought to the humiliation of an offer which must result in a
refusal.
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