Our Family Affairs, 1867-1896Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
General
Our Family Affairs, 1867-1896
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
Benson family
Though the beauty of living and sentient beings--whether in the region
of the soul, the mind or the body--made so irresistible an appeal to
her, she never really cared for the beauty of plants or trees or skies
or scenery. Just there a firm frontier-line was drawn round the
territory of her real sympathies, and it accorded very fitly with her
lack of touch with mere organizations. Just as she cared not two straws
for the Pan-Anglican Conference, yet delighted in the human members of
it, so, when standing in front of the west façade of, say Rheims
Cathedral, or looking across from the Riffel Alp to the Matterhorn, her
real attention would not be devoted to these silent sublimities, but
much rather to a cat blinking in the sun, or a sparrow building in the
eaves. Things must move or think or form opinions or commit voluntary
actions to enchant her, and in the Swiss holidays which often followed
the end of the London season, I doubt if she ever looked with eagerness
or wonder at the Matterhorn, except on the day when she knew that one
of her sons was somewhere near the summit in the early morning. On such
another day her eye was glued with enthusiasm on the Rothhorn because
two of us were making the ascent, but towards the Rothhorn in itself, or
towards the waving of poplars, or the flame of a sunset, she never felt
the emotional heart-leap. Thus, when August in Switzerland or elsewhere
was over, the ensuing five months or so at Addington, with its delights
for us of shooting and riding and all the genial thrill of country life,
made no appeal to her. As far as they affected us, she threw herself
into them, but at any moment, she would have chosen to be in the swim
and the thick of things again, and have taken those early morning walks
down the Lambeth Road with the interest of fishshops and costermongers
to enlighten her, rather than walk under the flaming autumn beech trees,
or see the frail white children of the spring beginning to prick through
the thawing earth of January. There had to be a beating heart in that
which enchained her; she could not bother about primroses. That may have
been a limitation, but such limitation as that merely stored her force
of sympathy and discernment towards the rest. She did not attempt to let
it dribble out in exiguous channels, but conserved the whole vigour of
it for the supply of the mansions where her treasure and her heart lay.
In the country also, she was a far more defenceless victim against the
one strong foe of her triumphal banners, and that foe was fear.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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