Our Family Affairs, 1867-1896Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
General
Our Family Affairs, 1867-1896
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
Benson family
We went to Addington for a few weeks at Easter, and the sojourn then
was, according to my mother, of the nature of a picnic. As a matter of
fact there was not really anything very picnicky about it; the
drawing-room, it is true, was not used, but we managed with the
ante-room, the Chinese room, the schoolroom, my father’s study and her
own room, by way of sitting-rooms, and perhaps part of the household
remained at Lambeth. But to her vivid sense, to her delight of using all
things to the utmost, this constituted a very informal way of life, for
when she was running a house, everything must be, in its own scale,
spick-and-span and complete. You might, for instance, dine on bread and
cheese and a glass of beer, but the cheese must be the best cheese, the
bread of the crispest, and the beer must be brimmed with froth. Short of
completeness and perfection, whatever your scale was, you were roughing
it, you were picnicking. She did not at all dislike picnicking, but It
Was picnicking, and why not say so? For herself, with her passion for
people (like Dr. Johnson she thought that one green field was like
another green field, and would prefer a walk down Fleet Street) she
would sooner have stopped in London, but my father needed this break in
the six months of his busy London life. But to his volcanic energy and
vitality, such a holiday was of the nature of a compulsion and a
medicine rather than an enjoyment. In the long run he was refreshed by
it, but the getting out of the shafts was always trying to him, and
usually resulted in a fit of depression, such as I have described
before. When he was very hard worked, he never suffered from this; it
was when he was obliged to rest that these irritable glooms descended on
him, and I particularly connect them, during these years, with the
Easter holiday. All the time, as he once told me when talking of them,
he would be struggling and agonizing to get his head out of those deep
waters, but was unable to until the nervous reaction had spent itself,
and the pendulum swung back again. By now we children had begun to
understand that, and though this mood of his was a damper on mirth and
generally an awful bore, we no longer feared him when he was like that
but “carried on,” very sorry for him, and sincerely hoping he would be
better next day. The person who felt it most was undoubtedly my mother:
he was miserable and she knew it, and knew the pathos of his futile
strivings to get rid of it, and her picnic was a melancholy and anxious
one till that cloud lifted. Often, however, she and my father went to
Florence for Easter, where they stayed with Lady Crawford at the Villa
Palmieri, and of all the holiday sojournings it was that which he
enjoyed most keenly. He was absolutely indefatigable where churches or
sacred art were concerned, because of the cause which had inspired
painter and architect. To him the achievement for which the architect
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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