“In the midst of death we are in life,” said we originally,--“oh death, sweet death, in the midst of all this life are we reminded of thee;--in the excitement and the turmoil thy quietness is here. Lo, the labor of man’s hand and the production of man’s mind we find about us,--we look, we wonder, we admire, but what, what are these hands and minds to thee? Nothing; nothing save the dust which in thy mill----” We were interrupted by a gentleman who approached us and invited us to invest in one of his patent coffins. He had any number of testimonials from parties who had used them, stating that under no consideration would they use any other. He said we might try one, and if we didn’t like it we needn’t feel compelled to keep it. He seemed very anxious to discover whether we had any sickly relatives. He took us through the undertaker’s department; showed us shrouds, sombre trappings, gold and silver trimmings, rosewood caskets, all the paraphernalia for a pleasant and comfortable send off. He escorted us through the marble yard, mentioned what kind of a tombstone he thought would best suit our condition, quoted verses of poetry which he thought would make suitable inscriptions, and was really so attentive and persistent that the truth dawned upon us at last;--he was placed there to talk visitors to death and brisken up business for the exhibitors. HE EARNED HIS SALARY, whatever it was. He explained the system of cremation, and told us if we had any old aunts or grandmothers about the house to bring them down and he would take pleasure in demonstrating its beauties practically. He induced us to purchase three or four little coffins made from the wood in Independence Hall, to be worn as watch charms;--“very sensible mementos of the occasion,” said he. It was by an almost superhuman effort that we broke from him at last,--we barely saved our lives,--that is all--we walked off a few yards and then--oh, intelligent reader, let us draw the veil!--we ourselves were carried to the Hospital. CHAPTER VIII. “THE GLOW.” ... WHO HELPED AND WHO ENJOYED IT. [Illustration] We remained in the hospital three days. We did not die. Unfortunately for the purchasers of this work and our friend of the model cemetery, we _would_ not die in Spring time. We were discharged on account of the crowded state of the institution. Visitors were beginning to discover that free board might be obtained, by stratagem, at the hospital, and the result was that a large proportion of our foreign guests found this climate very unhealthy. The doctors were cutting, dosing, and blistering, to their hearts’ content. We re-entered the grounds with the intention of resuming our inspection where we had discontinued it, but we were subjected to a severe nervous shock the very morning of our reappearance. [HOKEE POKEE WINKEE FUM.]