Our Square and the People in ItAdams, Samuel Hopkins
General
Our Square and the People in It
Adams, Samuel Hopkins
New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Short stories
“Ye told me,” accused Molly with heaving bosom, “that it would be a
strictly peaceable errand.”
“So it would,” replied the other calmly, “if he hadn't said something
about you.” Molly's brown eyes widened and brightened with amazement.
Her lips parted. “About me!” she said. Then she committed what the
lawyers call a non sequitur. “Mother of all the Saints!” cried Molly.
“How old are ye?”
“Thirty-seven years and four months,” replied the Meanest Man in Our
Square gravely.
“And me thinking--” He never found out what she was thinking, for she
broke off abruptly, and said: “Clap a bit of raw beef to that cheek,”
and vanished from his sight.
No Molly appeared for breakfast in the morning. In her stead arrived a
court officer with a warrant in which the term “feloniously” played a
conspicuous and dispiriting part. At court Miles Morse, prisoner, found
a delegation from Our Square awaiting him, including Molly, Cyrus the
Gaunt, the Bonnie Lassie, Terry the Cop, and Inky Mike, the tipster
disguised in a clean collar and taking copious notes with an absorbed
and ferocious expression, with a view to daunting wrongdoers by the
prospective fierce white light of the Press. This was part of the Bonnie
Lassie's strategy. So also was the presence of Merrivale, the young
lawyer of the Legal Aid branch, for the Bonnie Lassie had correctly
guessed that the accused would disdain to spend money on a lawyer. As he
awaited his turn at the bar of judgment (before Wolf Tone Hanrahan,
the Human Judge, his friends remarked with satisfaction) Terry the Cop
caught sight of his damaged knuckles. “I always said he had a grand pair
of hands,” murmured Terry to the Bonnie Lassie.
“And here they are in court, where you said they were at their best,”
she commented.
An expression of bewilderment gave place to a grin on Terry's handsome
face. “_The_ court,” I said, “the hand-ball court at the Y. M. C. A. He
packs a wallop in either hand'ud kill a bull.”
Then the plaintiff came in, and there was no further need of
explanations.
D. Wiggett was a horrid sight. He would have been a horrider sight if
he hadn't been almost totally obscured by bandages. The gist of his
testimony was comprised in the frequently repeated word “murder.” The
accused put in no defense. In the Human Judge's eye were doubt and
indecision. Obviously there was something behind this case. As he
hesitated, the Legal Aid lawyer came forward with the light-pink
document of D. Wiggett & Co., and handed it to the judge with a few
words. D. Wiggett's lawyer entered vehement objections. Stilling his
protests with a waving hand, Magistrate Hanrahan read the “Agreement
to Sell.” Then he called for Mrs. Molly Dunstan. More objections.
Overruled. At the conclusion of Molly's testimony he turned to the
protesting lawyer. “Did ye drah up this dockyment?”
“I did, your honor.”
“It's as full of holes as the witch's cullender. Y'otta be disbarred fer
it!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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