“If you promise to wake up and forget it.”
“Tell me first.”
And so, rather haltingly, but with growing confidence, Eve told the
stranger of her hopes:
“I can see clearly now, it was a companion Wynne needed, that’s all—a
mental companion. Had I been a man I might have entered more deeply into
his life. You see, we fought to rise out of this rut, and now he has
begun to rise he finds that I am part of the rut—something to be left
behind. I believe a man and woman were not intended to live together as
we have—there was no fire, you see—we were just partners. The marriage
link cannot be welded without fire. I wonder—do you understand what I
mean?”
He nodded gravely.
“Wynne’s was all mental fire. The embers of his love for me have never
glowed into a flame.” She laughed to smother a sob. “They are out—out
altogether—dead and cold! At least it seems so. I have been like a book
to him—an information bureau and debating society in one. Ever ready to
supply the thoughts that were not self-revealing. And now I have been
read from cover to cover, and it’s foolish, I suppose, to expect a place
in the new library.”
“What a damnable story!” said Quiltan, with sudden fierceness. “I feel
like—kicking him.”
“Don’t feel like that. Everybody has wanted to kick Wynne. It was the
first thing which drew me toward him. And when you look at it all from
his point of view, you _can see_.”
“_You_ find excuses for him?”
“Easily.”
“How—how?”
“I love him.”
“Still?”
“Yes. And I’d go through just such another three years if I thought that
he would love me at the end—gladly I would.”
“But suppose he never does love you! What then? How long can you last
out like this? Don’t you want to live?”
“Oh, yes, I want to live.”
“Well then?”
“But all the folk who want to live can’t have their way. Perhaps I shall
just go on wanting till even the want dies.”
“That’s unthinkable.”
“But very possible.”
She became suddenly aware of the intensity of his expression. The sinews
of his close-shut hands showed white, and in his eyes burnt a strange
fire. An odd fear seized her, and to cover her nervousness she quoted at
random.
“Don’t you remember the Browning lines:
“‘Some with lives that came to nothing,
Some with deeds as well undone,
Death came tacitly and took them where they never see the sun.’”
He seized on the purport of a single line, and said:
“Isn’t the alternative better, perhaps, than this?”
“Death?” she queried.
“‘Some with deeds as well undone.’”
He spoke with a queer hoarseness.
For a moment she held his eyes steadily, then with quick colour turned
away her head.
“I thought,” she said, “we were to be friends.”
“Haven’t you had enough of friendship?”
She had thought he would recover himself at the rebuke, but if anything
his voice was more insistent.
“Haven’t you?” he repeated.
“There is no need for you to make love to me, Mr. Quiltan.”
“How do you know?” he retorted. “How can you possibly say that?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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