“No, please not. I had rather think of you as the student working for
the day.”
He hesitated—then, “Very well. Good-night.”
“Good-night.”
He retraced his steps slowly. The memory of her attitude and her words
puzzled him.
“More like a boy,” he concluded, which if you think it out was a very
fine form of conceit.
His thoughts wandered from his work, and he bit his pen for a long, long
while. His eyes rested unseeingly on the black patch which was the
window.
“More like a boy—much more.”
He nodded to convince himself. After all, the friendship of a boy who is
really a girl is very pleasant.
Never once did it cross his mind how entirely negligible was the
physical side of his nature. A man whose brain works with febrile
intensity night and day, and whose earnings are scarcely sufficient to
buy the meanest fare, knows little or nothing of passionate callings.
Unlike your idle, over-fed fellow whose intellect performs no greater
task than finding excuses for bodily indulgence, the student’s
sensuality lies in words and colour. His worst vice is the prostitution
of an artistic standard.
III
It was the neuter quality in Wynne Rendall which made possible the
all-hour intimacy which came to exist between Eve and himself. She would
come to his rooms, indifferent to time and convention, and stay far into
the night.
Sometimes they conversed little, and then, while he worked or wandered
about in a seemingly aimless fashion, seeking some cherished but elusive
word, she would read, curled up in the age-worn chair. When the talking
mood possessed him she would lay her book aside and contribute
endorsement or censure to his ideas. In this respect her courage was
boundless, for she never hesitated to dispute with him when she felt he
was at fault. He would fight for his mental holdings to the last breath
of argument, then of a sudden swing round and say:
“Yes, I know you are right—but how do you know?”
His extraordinary belief in himself filled her with a queer mixture of
distress and admiration, but the distress was outweighed by the
admiration and the joy she took in their brain to brain fencing or
accord. Their talks, although embracing nearly every subject under the
sun, were, as a rule, impersonal, or rather impersonal in so far as
their relations to one another was concerned.
In common with many folk, Wynne thought more highly of his lesser deeds
than of his greater, and vaunted them enthusiastically. He was
inordinately proud of his truculence and acerbity to men who were more
successful than himself, and took pleasure in recounting the fine-edged
verbal tools he had employed against them. He was mortally offended when
Eve told him frankly the attitude was unworthy and easily misconstrued.
“They only think you are envious,” she said.
“I envious of them? Good God!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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