Authors -- Fiction; Ghosts -- Fiction; Love stories; World War, 1914-1918 -- Veterans -- Fiction
And now she was aware not of relief or reaction or fear, but solely of
her headache. It had changed in character. It had become a furious
internal bombardment of her brows. If she turned her eyes to right or
left, she seemed to be dragging weights across the front of her brain.
Yet this headache did not seem quite a part of herself. It was as though
she knew, by a supernormal sensitiveness, the symptoms of someone else.
It was as though suddenly she had become two people. Anyway, it had
ceased to be personal. And somewhere else within her head was growing a
delicious feeling of freedom, of lightness, of escape from a wheel. Her
evasion of the Carbonado Mining Company did not account for all that;
she felt free from everything. "I'm not going to take any more rooms,"
she said to herself. "I'm going to sleep out of doors now, like the
birds. People find you when you take rooms. Where shall I begin?" She
considered; and then one of those little hammers of intuition seemed to
tap on her brain. Again, she did not resist. "Why, Washington Square of
course!" she said to herself.
The car was threading now the narrow ways of Greenwich Village. It
stopped; Susannah stepped off. The rest seemed for a long time to be
just wandering. But that curious sense of duality had vanished. She was
one person again. She did not find Washington Square easily; but then,
it made no difference whether she ever found it. For New York and the
world were so amusing when once you were free! You could laugh at
everything--the passing crowds, surging as though business really
mattered; the Carbonado Mining Company; the grisly old fool in their
toils, and Susannah Ayer. You could laugh even at the climate--for
sometimes it seemed very hot, which was right in summer, and sometimes
cold, which wasn't right at all. You could laugh at the headache, when
it tied ridiculous knots in your forehead. There was the
Arch--Washington Square at last.
But it wasn't time to sleep in Washington Square yet. The birds hadn't
gone to bed. Sparrows were still pecking and squabbling along the
borders of the flower-beds. Besides, New York was still flowing, on its
homeward surge from office and workshop, down the paths. Susannah sat
down on a bench and considered. She had a disposition to stay there--why
was she so weak? Oh, of course she hadn't eaten. People always had
dinner before going to bed. She must eat--and she had money. She shook
out her pocketbook into her lap. A ten-dollar bill, a one-dollar bill,
and some small change. She must dine gloriously--free creatures always
did that when they had money. Besides, she was never going to pay any
more room rent. Susannah rose, strolled up Fifth Avenue. The crowd was
thinning out. That was pleasant, too. She disliked to get out of the way
of people. She was crossing Twenty-third Street now; and now she was
before the correct, white façade of the Hague House. A proper and
expensive place for dinner.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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