"How _are_ YOU, Smiley! No chance, hadn't I? Couldn't make it, couldn't I? I know a thing or two, I reckon. How _are_ YOU, Lieutenant Smil-_e-e-e-e_! Ha! ha! I've settled your case, I guess, my boy! Bully for you, Parker! You've straightened that out, anyhow. Yes, sir! Ha! ha! Fol de rol de rol de rol," etc., etc. (second performance of the hornpipe, accompanied by whistling and new expressions of intense satisfaction). [Illustration] I went down stairs with a solemn conviction that Mr. Parker had explained himself to Miss Magruder, and had received an answer from her that was wholly satisfactory. I did not reveal the secret to Mrs. Adeler, concluding that it would be better to permit Bob to do that himself in the morning. [Illustration] Parker rose about two hours earlier than usual, and I entertain a suspicion that he expended a portion of the time in going down the street to examine the exterior of Mr. Magruder's house. It probably gave him some satisfaction merely to view the tenement wherein his fair enslaver reposed. He came to the breakfast-table with a radiant countenance, and it was evident that he would be unable to contain the news for many moments longer. In order to prepare the way for him, I asked him: [Illustration] "Why were you so late last night, Bob?" "Oh, I had some important business on hand. Big things have been happening; I have some news to tell you." "Another railroad accident?" I asked, carelessly, "or a riot in Philadelphia?" "Riot? no! Thunder!" exclaimed Bob; "nothing of that kind. It's something more important. You know old Smiley--Fiji Island Smiley? Well, I've floored him; I've laid him out flat; I've knocked him into diminutive smithereens." "Had a personal encounter with the lieutenant?" I asked, gravely. "No, _sir_! better than that. I've cut him out down at Magruder's. Bessie and I are engaged! What do you think of that, Max?" "Think of it? Why, I congratulate you heartily. You have secured a treasure." "And I congratulate you, too," said Mrs. A. "Bessie is a very fine girl, and will make you a good wife." "That's what I think about it," observed Mr. Parker. "I am very glad Lieutenant Smiley didn't succeed there," said Mrs. A. "Smiley! Smiley!" exclaimed Bob, scornfully. "Why, he never had the ghost of a chance. Bessie told me last night she despised him. She wouldn't look at such a man as he is." "Not while such men as you are around, at any rate, I suppose?" "When are you going to speak to Bessie's father?" asked Mrs. Adeler. A cloud suddenly passed over Bob's face, and he said: "I don't know. I have to do it, I s'pose, but I hate it worse than I can tell you. I believe I'd rather propose to a woman a dozen times than to broach the matter to a stern parent once. It's all well enough to express your feelings to a woman who loves you; but when you come to explain the matter to a cold-blooded, matter-of-fact old man who is as prosy as a boiled turnip, it seems kind of ridiculous."